June 8th, 2012 at 08:15pm
I really like your writing style. Very powerful imagery, you know just what words to use and when to use them to force out the most impact they could give.
"Bam, bam, bam!
Bullets of sweat dart from my pores[.]"
^Exactly what I'm talking about. Perfect timing, making my heart catch inside my throat. So good.
I rarely don't have a critique for someone but I really don't for this story. I also like how you've made your layout simpler, I think it adds to the raw impact of your story. I can't wait for you to write more, fabulous job! Absolutely fabulous!
"Bam, bam, bam!
Bullets of sweat dart from my pores[.]"
^Exactly what I'm talking about. Perfect timing, making my heart catch inside my throat. So good.
I rarely don't have a critique for someone but I really don't for this story. I also like how you've made your layout simpler, I think it adds to the raw impact of your story. I can't wait for you to write more, fabulous job! Absolutely fabulous!