honestly...i think i'm...in love with this story haha!! i love it and when Jackson punched Ben i was like ooooooo i can't wait to see what happens next!!!^_^ You're one awesome writer:)
One major thing I saw is that ALOT of your I's weren't capitalized. No mater WHAT an I should always be in caps. Either if it's I or I'm. So you should fix that.
Missing a few quotation marks here and there too. Other then that nice.