Soldier - Comments

I like how you made the description a simple quote, which added to the mystery of the story. It made me as the reader look forward to reading it, especially as a Band of Brothers fan. I wasn't sure if Mibba would have any decent stories about war, but I'm really happy that I found this one. Your writing style fit with the genre and it made it more realistic. Lovely story. :)

First off, the layout is very lovely. The red banner contrasts greatly with the greyish background. And a good, readable layout is always a plus. To be honest, I find your story amazing because one) you have a very nice vocabulary which I love and two) I've never see that many army type stories except for this one and another great one of my friend's aha. I already like Bobbie because like turducken stated, the way he talks about war, its just so...sad. And I could understand why his mother would cry. Her poor baby could die for goodness sakes! But I also understamd what the father's going through. He does have a right to feel proud of his son for giving his life up for their country.

Subbing (:

So, I like all of the description, the lack of conversation adds tension and the way you have this written out makes it seem like he's nervous in a way. I got this conclusion because when I'm nervous I over describe things and it makes others look at me like "is there a point?"

I really like this and the layout is pretty. Talking about war must be hard for anybody. I know that if I were in a war zone or had been in a war zone, I would be as quiet as mouse, mums the word for me. I love how real all of this sounds, really I do.

Omg, I totally thought that I had commented on this before. /failure. Just slap me in the face. Anyway, I really do like this I like the way the main character talks, the narration is really well written and just feels so natural and realistic. I agree with Gabby about the sadness in the way he talks about war and it just sounds really well put together. You can tell you thought this all out, and it just works fantastically.

I really like the background of the layout, it sort of gives it that vintage almost rusty feel, that really goes well with the war theme, I think. The way that he talks about the war really makes it sad that he has to go, though, almost like he's so innocent and childlike that he can't even begin to fathom it at all, but he's going to die in it. I really like that perspective you gave it. And just in general, how they all acted towards it, but I really much like how realistic you made it. With all the little facts slipped in there, it made it incredibly believable too. I think that this is a really good piece, albeit a sad one but it's an interesting topic to choose to write about and you did it really well. :D

The layout is gorgeous and simple, I must say :)

I loved this first chapter for I felt I was there and I also felt like I was reading a nice, profesionally published book :) The description is just right and not too short and I love how there aren't choppy sentences.

You have raw talent and I love it :D I am subbing!

I love how well you explain war in this story, how after a while it becomes almost emotionless and he doesn't even try to care about the others. It's every man for himself.

I love the way you write, too. Not too descriptive, but still tells how hard it would be in war.

One thing, though: I feel like if you want the readers to have any sort of sympathy for the characters that are dead or going through a rough time, like Matthew, maybe it should tell more about them? But then again, you could be going for the detached feeling. :D Nice work. <3

You portray the first world war very well in your story. And I really love the lay out and banner for the story. But what I really love is your writing style. Everything fits well with each other and it's easy to get lost in the story.

You portray the first world war very well in your story. And I really love the lay out and banner for the story. But what I really love is your writing style. Everything fits well with each other and it's easy to get lost in the story.

Layout: Awesome, although when I saw the brown spots I started tripping out because I though something was wrong with my computer :)

This seems very interesting with all the research you did, you can tell that a total dunderhead who doesn't know anything DIDN'T write this.

Subscribing

I love the layout, the banner and especially the quote that is in the summery. The fact that the first chapter lacked dialogue really brought out the emotion that the Bobbie was feeling. All of the descriptions of what he thought war would be like and the people that were with him were fantastic. It seemed to me, when he joined the war, he was a little naive because he had heard all of the stories and then joined. This is just fantastic!

First off, I really adore the layout. It goes so well with the theme you've built up with this story here. I'm usually not a fan of first person, but you've definetly changed my views on it. It's refreshing to see a story so raw and real with emotions, which is often hard to find amongst all the romance stories. I can see that you've done quite a bit of research while writing this, which is a great thing to see in a story, because it just makes it so much better. Your descriptions are fabulous, and your grammar is immpecable. I hope to see more of this story in the future!

Oh my!
The fact that it's a WWI story really interests me and I cannot wait to see where you go with it. My bisnonno (great grandather) was in the war and I have just really been interested in it.
I love the fact that they all have such different personalites and are in the same unit. I just feel a little bit bad about Mathew and can't wait to findo ut more about him.
Keep up the good work, can't wait to read more:)

I really love your layout. The only thing I could say about it though is it might help to make your font a tad bigger because it might be a littler easer to read, don't get me wrong I could read it but I had to get quite close to my laptop, then again it could be the small screen.

What I also loved was the beautiful descriptions that you had. It really made me think about what they were thinking.

All in all I loved the story. Keep on writing :)