My Beautiful Girl - Comments

Layout: Well, it's pre-made. I don't know how to judge on that. I guess it's more of a lack of creativity, or care. Or you don't know how to make a story layout. Doesn't matter to me too much. As long as I can read it, it's okay.

Summary: It's simple and it's perfect. It doesn't make me want to turn away from the story. Although I don't like romances too tough, this is a review. So reviewing is what I'm going to do.

Chapter: As I was reading it, the further I got I began to realize that it's not a man in love, but a father loving his child, not wanting to let her go. It's a little touching because it reminds me of my dad and his "not wanting to let me leave" and all. It's sweet. But I don't know where the story is going. It's sounding more like a descriptive story than a regular story. Almost as if it should be a narrative poem, or something like that. That is unless you're going to add another chapter that's more story like.

If it weren't so short, I'd have more to say... but it's short. I'm not the one to spot out grammar mistakes or typos too well. For that, you might want to ask an editor.

This story is so cute. It made me smile because it is just so gentle and easy to read. Your use of imagery made this so much more believeable and it seems like a man could have easily written this about his daughter.
So sweet!

This is a very sweet and cliche piece, but it works wonderfully and isn't over done. I guess this shows just how a father would feel about his daughter, and all fathers think their daughters are perfect. I like the use of the imagery when comparing his daughter to a butterfly, it is such a sweet comparison and made me smile quite a bit. The last line, I feel was brilliant, probably my favorite. You always get parents saying that they don't want to let their children go, and that they'll always be their little bundle of perfection. I also quite like the fact that the girl isn't named, so, I feel, that many can relate to this piece, which is one reason for writing stories.

My only criticism would be to space paragraphs. At times it was hard to see when one finished and another started.

I enjoyed this very much. It sort of makes me want to hang out with my dad now.