March 16th, 2014 at 07:05am
I'm Not Dead - Comments
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Hello, comment swap brought me here to your story. You're starting pretty well, but I have a couple of pointers for you. Maybe get a more clean cut layout for your story, and you shouldn't say P!nk's POV, us readers would be able to know with the subtle hints and context clues. I like your idea and where this story is going, maybe just use more language people would use in an everyday conversation. But other than that good job! :DJune 7th, 2012 at 06:25am
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hey, comment swap brought me here! your layout is sort of blinding- the colours contrast a little bit /too/ much for it to be easy on the eyes. playing with that and maybe choosing a different font would give the layout a way better look.
your writing style is sort of choppy with the sentence structure you use- also, you shouldn't introduce it as 'P!NK's POV'! we should be able to tell from the context clues about whose POV it is- plus, you tell us later on.
your characters are... explosive, to say the least. perhaps it's just 'first chapter' and such, but i feel like their interactions could've had more description- tell us what marshall and alecia are doing when they're talking, how they're standing, so on and so forth! details like that build your characters more fully and round them out more to make them believable.
you've got a good start, don't get me wrong. it's partially that this isn't exactly my fandom that i'm interested in, but you've got talent- you've just got to polish it up and make your writing better now ;)June 7th, 2012 at 03:39am -
This is definatley a combiation I would never have thought of but I give you many many props for succeeding with what you chose to write. I love love love the detail and emotion I myself was able to take from it. Beautiful!June 7th, 2012 at 03:31am
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This is a very different couple that never even crossed my mind but you made it work so well. It well written and over all it just flows nicely. Really great job on this. I give it and you two thumbs way up. You deserve some love on this story :)June 7th, 2012 at 01:49am
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I'd never thought of the two together. I'd never even known there was P!nk or Eminem fanfics on Mibba until Comment Swap brought me here! I like it though. I like your writing style. It's well written and it flows perfectly! :)June 7th, 2012 at 12:17am
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Heey ! :) I had never even thought of this combination + it's not really the music genre I adore or anything , but still I think it's pretty great as a whole :)
I like the way you describe their intimate moments and all :P I think they have such a sweet and romantic relationship and I loove how you give all these little details :D
So yeah , pretty much that's all ! :) Good job ;)June 6th, 2012 at 10:49pm -
Comment swap brought me here and can I just say... Whoa. This is such a strange combination but it works somehow. It's nice to see someone writing a double celeb fic without it being a slash. You layout is nice, super easy to read. I love your correct use of grammar. Have a nice day!! :DJune 6th, 2012 at 01:57pm
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Love it,it's been a while but I'm glad tht ur continuing the story........can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)June 2nd, 2012 at 11:21am
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Love it.....can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)March 26th, 2012 at 01:22am
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Wow thanks guys! Yall read faster than I can type dammit! Haha. Any criticism? My inbox is open.March 11th, 2012 at 08:44am
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ohh ohh! i like this! lol. I just read it today. haha. keep it up! cant wait for the next one! :) Now i go outside... cause its nice as hell. lolMarch 10th, 2012 at 10:08pm
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LovveeeeOctober 24th, 2011 at 04:55am
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Yall really like it? Ahhh. (:September 21st, 2011 at 07:11am
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lovely :)September 20th, 2011 at 02:47am
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Aw (: Thank you so much.September 19th, 2011 at 11:18pm
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Awwwwww this story is so kewt! More updatessssss...please.September 19th, 2011 at 07:30am
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Thank you!September 6th, 2011 at 04:26am
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i like thisssss........ alottSeptember 5th, 2011 at 09:54am
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I didn't know yall read so fast! Thank you soo much. Yall can also inbox me with ideas in case I hit some writer's block with these two.September 5th, 2011 at 08:29am
Just some notes. Happy writing!