Serenaded Waterfall - Comments

I am reopening this story then making a final copy after the first edition.

:) gud work

yay i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's actually the point of it. It's actually my character bio. When i brought it here it was Roleplay character Bio, which originally meant to be nothing more to it. The story is going to have more details on scenery and characters physical description, but it won't be totally detailed. It's purpose is to give ideas yo it's readers about a background to base things off of. I'm not going for book. I'm not a English type of person, but as far as Roleplay goes. This serves it's purpose.

This seems like it would make a great anime or maybe a movie, but if it was a book, it would need to be written differently. Nonetheless, I really like the story.

Gud

So, I hate to be rude about it, but I'd like to offer criticism. It seems very dry and very statement oriented. There's not much description. It's he did this, he said this. :/ It SOUNDS like an interesting idea but... I couldn't get into it. If you decide to do anything about it or want some help with it, just message me or comment on my profile. -Jamie