Mind Games - Comments

I hated that this ended! That's the very first thing I thought once I finished the story...or even as I saw that it was quickly coming to an end. I feel as though there could be so much more involved with Talia. But, understandably, this is just a one-shot so we only get a sneak peek of her. Maybe you should do something more with her! :D

Your writing is really quite lovely. I enjoyed the banter that the two had and how you portrayed it. Overall, I just found your style very easy to read and pleasant to read. I also must say that I loved the banner and layout!

The end did make me sad, though :/

That was sad. : (

At the beginning, I immediately thought, "Wait, why is Charles standing? Is this before his injury? Or is it a dream or an illusion?" And, of course, my questions were answered by the end. I thought that this was really great, though it left me wanting to know more about Talia. I'm guessing that she has some sort of illusion ability, but I'm not completely sure, which is mostly what I want to know more about. >.< I thought your writing style was great, because it contained a lot of detail and it delivered the story in a way that made the reader want to keep reading, so that by the end, they wanted more. Which, because this is a one-shot, is bad news for the reader. But great job on your part. : )