Piano Man - Comments

I have to say I loved the wrap around with the beginning and the end. However, the middle wasn't well explained and seemed very flat due to the carelessness of the names being tossed around, and nothing was developed.

First of all, the layout. OMG. It’s actually really horrible for reading. And I mean no offense or anything by that, I swear. It’s just the red doesn’t work well for text with that background. I had to switch to default just to read it. You should probably make the story background the entire page background. Then do the story section black then with red text or something. It would be a lot easier on the eyes.

Now onto the story. I really adored the first paragraph. It just sounded really good and set up the story really well. I think the story after that got a bit wobbly. I wasn’t sure where the plot was or what it was suppose to be. Characters just popped in and out and were never explained except for a name. There were too many names thrown around to keep track of with such a short story.

The writing was good, though. It read nicely, it was just the story didn’t make sense to me and lost me too easily.

To be honest, I have no idea what's going on. I loved the writing though, and I just adored the last sentence, and the piece as a whole. The layout was very hard to read, though, on account of the pictured background and how dark it was. I think the story deserves to be able to be read, because it's great, but the layout just doesn't do it justice.