September 8th, 2011 at 12:46am
This was so great. I loved the fact that you wrote about Azazel, as well, because I think he's such a fascinating character.
First of all, Nightcrawler is one of my favorite characters in the X-Men universe and not a ton of people (unless they read the comics or just study X-Men on the internet) know his background and such, so it was really nice that you centered your story around that. When you first chose to do Nightcrawler and Mystique, I was a little afraid that you might try something romantic between them and I thought, "Ah, that would be weird." But you didn't and I liked what you did. The dialogue in this flowed together really well, I thought, and you could see Mystique's soft side, which is so often not shown. Good job with that, though.
Overall, I really liked the story and you did a great job with it. (Also, brownie points for including Azazel.)
I don't believe I found any grammatical errors in your one-shot (at least none that were so apparent that I noticed them while reading). That was lovely for me as I didn't feel the flow was ever interrupted.
The actual storyline was perfect! I wasn't expecting her to be his mother (really, not at all), so I was pleasantly surprised when that turned out to be the case. I smiled and got all giddy and happy when I realized that they had found each other, even if Nightcrawler didn't know quite yet.
Overall, great job! I loved your phrasing, word choice, and storyline and felt like it all fit together wonderfully!