Come on, get away from the cliches. Seen as her boyfriend? Pffft obvious! Lol, why not move towards something new, something cooler, something about her awesome breakdancing talent. I guess that's what I really want to hear about more. haha. It's so unique to this story!
We are the Knights of Commenting, we have come on behalf of the King.
We have enjoyed your story thus far and hope you can include more setting in the future. The imaginative space of your story had us floating around for days. We finally came back down when you mentioned the grass.
We hope you health gets better. Just keep praying!!
Also a message from the King:
"A tale is told for three reasons: to reveal the good; to tell an advice or a moral; or to tell the truth. Remember young author that stories can go far from these without meaning anything. Thus, you should bring the stories this base to aid in the clarification of your work. This grounds them. -King"