Adam's Currents - Comments

This layout is so great and I love the tanish broder that matches the beachy them you have here :).

I really like how he relates his mental state to drowning and how there's no difference between his situation and drowning in the ocean. In a lot of stories authors describe the ocean as calming and a place to collect your thoughts but they seem to be worsening his mood and describing it as somewhere that will burn and be painful. I like that contrast of views you have in here.

Adam seems to be such a tortured soul and I really hope that Adam (that I now see is your name, so you!) will start feeling better.

Overall, the way you used descriptions and imagery to enhance the story was wonderful; great job!

I have to mention that since you wrote this for a picture drabble contest, it fits the layout so well and it makes it absolutely beautiful. This was spectacularly written.

I like how you wrote a story about how somebody is just sitting on the beach and thinking about his or her life. So often the beach is a place for fun and deep thinking and I like how you wrote about that. The imagery is wonderful and some of the things you say really stay with the reader. Wonderful job, I'm definitely thinking about reading more of your work, because this was very well-written.

Ohh I really like this layout, especially how the picture has such soft colors and you use them in the layout. I know that some people just ignore the fact that the banner actually can help the layout look better and throw random colors on it, this looks nice. I really like how I didn't know exactly what to think going into this story, just like anything could happen.

The title is so original so good job with that c:

This is totally one of those kinds of stories that the own reader can determine whether not the character in the story is crazy or delusional or just totally normal and experiencing something strange, I love how you wrote this. It's really refreshing to read.

Beautiful.

oh nvm, its a prequel ^_^

Update:)

Again, I felt like the layout was just dead on. Those colors are so, so beautiful, and they match that lovely picture so well! I’m jealous of your skills in layout-making. (And writing. ) xD Also, I loved the title as well. Your little sea theme. Ugh, I loved this drabble more than the other one. It was absolutely spot-on and just perfect. You again (or I suppose this would have been the first time) used such enchanting, descriptive words that there was nothing left to the imagination. I especially adored the last line, where he wondered about the seagulls. Ugh, it’s so amazing. Excellent, excellent job.

<3 Haven

I'm not sure how I feel towards this drabble. It's as if I was reading the thoughts of someone you wouldn't consider, let's say, sane. Mostly the part Help me! I'm drowning! for me, it was packed with much sarcasm and mockery. It just made me see this man in another light. And then you have the last question. It's just so carefree; him musing over drowning and the birds. It makes me think of him as delusional. This is, for me, a part of his philosophy in how he views life.

Now, as for the drabble itself, you really nailed the descriptions. My favorite among them all has to be: I can feel it deep within me like the burn of the saltwater. & We’re all birds within our own cages, anchors for our watery graves.

♥ Beautiful, Lyssa.

This is just lovely.
The imagery and emotions are simply stunning.
Great job. <3

I like the imagery of this drabble. I can picture it well, and I also like your diction. It's such a simple scene, and you pull it off flawlessly. We get to feel what the character's feeling, while also knowing where he is. You don't just tell, you show.
Beautiful!

I think this piece is beautiful.
I loved how you based it off the image, but even so without the image to guide the reader, I would have been able to picture everything from your description.
I think the flow of this was excellent, and so simple and beautiful that it just makes it an amazing piece.
Great job!

I really liked this one shot.
Maybe you'd like to enter in my contest? http://www.mibba.com/forums/topic/168812/
I'd love to hear from you again!
-Sara.

I... I love this... a lot.
Forgive me, I'm not one for speaking my mind in comments... It's so on-the-spot, I never know what to say. But, this flowed so well. Oh, so eloquent. I'm a bit enchanted. Kudos. I'm not so easily touched.