That was very interesting Felisha.
July 19th, 2011 at 03:17pm
Your story had a great concept, but I realized your character wasn't very consistent. She went from having no idea how to protect herself to instantly being able to sneak up things and slit their throats. Which I had a small problem with.
With your stories, you need to learn to pace yourself, put more emotion and characterization into them. This piece would be great with a few edits, you know? You should try some indirect characterization and maybe even attempt to throw in some background on some more characters and make them interact, to cause some conflict?
But in any sort... The story has potential, but I think editing would do you some good. C:
Good luck and happy writings.