Nebulosa - Comments

I really like how you started and ended this drabble. I find when stories are started and ended with dialogue, it seems unfinished and almost empty, but you made it work really well.

I really like how you added the dialogue throughout the story as well. There was a lot of it, but it didn't seem overwhelming or like it lacked description or anything, which was really nice.

I liked how the title tied in with the story, and how simple the layout was as well. I felt like it matched your simple writing style really well, and made everything seem like it flowed together really well, if that makes sense.

Lovely job!

What I admired so much about this story is that it effortlessly started and ended with dialogue. Usually I have to groan when a story starts with dialogue because it doesn't always capture my attention, but yours did, and the dialogue at the end closed it up extremely well.

I also found it interesting how the boy had an attitude that Marla didn't understand things about the stars. She had such a fascinating thought process about the sky that I thought was cute and charming.

You captured a really cute moment in this drabble here in such few words and I loved it. Well done.

The summary and just the simplicity of the layout itself really drew me in. I love how short the summary is and how different it feels for me to read it, that really stood out to me.

I really like this drabble. Instead of being just a paragraph seemingly about one thing or just one paragraph itself it was filled with dialogue and I feel as thought it could be about more than one thing. The stars, the people, or just humans/life in general. One of the things that made me smile was the fact that throughout the whole of this piece you came back to the stars or the sky. I don't know why but I like that about this piece and it was beautifully written, good job.

Drabble for Drabble

I really like this. Especially this line: “The stars, I mean. They’re fading.” Her ribcage feels smaller.
It just seems very significant to me, like the stars are her favourite thing and seeing them fade away is painful and it pulls on her heartstrings. I don't know if you were going for that kind of effect, but either way, that line is fantastic.

I love the simplicity of this as well. I love how you didn't use too much description and I thought the amount of dialogue was perfect. To me, this whole drabble had a cryptic sense about it. It just seemed so mysterious and I spent a while after reading contemplating what the characters said, trying to find the real meaning to them.

Overall, this is fantastic. Really, really good job.

This is quite good. I think my favorite line was, His eyes aren’t focused on the sky, nor the clouds, nor the stars, but on the above. “What are you talking about?” I think that was a brilliant way to describe the aimless sort of gaze; he's not really focusing on anything in particular just looking, like his eyes are there, but they aren't really seeing. I feel like that line defined the difference in the two characters that I felt. Maria has this desperate energy and the boy just doesn't get it.

I dunno; that's the vibe I got anyway. Keep up the good work. :)

Woooah, I really liked that.

I love the way you stated things so simply but they had so much meaning at the same time. I like how you easily went from talking about something so incomprehensible and far away (the stars) to describing how she feels using body parts, like the ribcage and nerves. I thought that was well done. I especially love the line slowly decomposing and bursting and forming. That was beautiful I think, even though there was sadness there.
Well done, that was great (: