X-Men Evolutions: Of Kings and Pawns - Comments

First thing first. I really like X-men. And it is difficult to find any on here. Especially one that is well written. So bonus points already. I like the way you get into the characters heads and that you chose to write this a year after the crisis in order to do something new with the characters instead of a novelization of the movie. The only thing I would suggest is making Erik a lot more bitter. And remember that he is an anti villain. He is a villain that does stuff that is wrong but you have general sympathy for him. Overall I really liked it and I hope you update it again because it was good!

You're just insane. I mean, I knew I totally missed you whilst we've both been MIA, but I had no idea how much I missed your writing! That is some serious talent you have, young lass, aha :)
I loved First Class sooooo much, and now you've made me love it even more! The repetition of the dream in the later chapter from the first really brings everything together, I love how you manage to make sci-fi seem so realistic and accessible without even trying. You're acting how the camera does in First Class - viewing the situation from both sides and combining and contrasting them beautifully - but that's just your writing, I guess :P

"sense the small beads of sweat and the pungent smell caused his nose to twitch in discomfort." Ah, I love it so much!

As always, you talented darling, I'm subscribing and waiting for the next wonderful chapter! :)

I just wanted to say that I really like X-Men and have seen most of the movies, minus the most recent one. But anyway, I’m guessing that this story is taking place after the most recent movie, but I could be completely wrong.

Anyway, it makes me happy that we get to look into both Erik and Charles’s mind. I really like both of them for some reason. I just I just like them because I just do. They are completely wonderful in their own way and have awesome powers. And because the reader gets to look into both of their lives, it reminds me how different the two friends, or enemies, are. It made me think how… accepting Charles is with humans and how much hatred Erik has for them.

Okay, this story is probably the best X-Men story that I’ve ever read in my life. Well, it’s probably one of the only ones that I’ve read but still. Both of you have captured every characters personalities very well. It’s just perfection. I am subscribing just because I love this story to death and I can’t wait to read the future chapters!

I just feel like saying that I love how entirely plauseable all of this is. I mean, anyone with enough sense can write a good fanfiction, but what's going on here is so real and fits with the canon and is just this perfect continuation. Amazing

I also love the random thought of Charles controlling the wheelchair with his telepathy. Of course, he does this all the time, but think of how weird it would have been the first time. And funny. No matter how epic he is, he still probably had some "motor" control issues

Oh, and the appearence of Hank xD I do love Hank. That made my night.

*fail*
References to other movies FTW!

Even though nothing much happened, I do like the subtle character developments, especially with Raven/Mystique. I thought it fitting that Erik called her Raven, but Emma didn't. And he "acting like a child"... well, she is still a bit.
TOAD OMFG I'm excited to see him appear :3
...I still think Azazel sounds like a Pokemon though xD
I hope we get some action soon though. Even if it's just Prof. X just being like, "Imma open my school now so we can stop Erik!" xD

And the plot thickens...
I'm on my iPod so this is going to be an incredibly lame comment but I couldn't ignore the update glaring at me in my inbox, so ah, here I am...

I found this chapter felt a lot less significant than the others. Not in that it had no information of use, it did, I just feel like it was missing something that would have brought it up to the standard the previous two are at. :\

However, I love this story, and I love this chapter. I think you've got a really clear image of how to write Magneto and you're creating you're own little twist, which seems to emerging more and more, I think you've really got him spot on. I'm interested to see how things will be playing on the other side of the board though; I feel like although you've given us a really clear position and mindset for him, we've only seen glimpses of Charles' mindset.

Which is maybe something we'll look into a little more in the next few X-Men chapters? Which I'm extremely curious about. I like the way this is all slowly tying together much like an X-Men episode and/or series does.

Updates are lovely, as always. :')

Can I just- why? what? how? where? Where! - Where have I been living that I didn't know of this perfect creation. Oh my goodness. X-Men, one of my favourite things in the world, and you, one of my favourite writers in the world. I'm genuinely in love.

The layout is stunning. I'm embracing it's beauty right now, and heavily envying it. Seriously, I love, love, love it. Lots. And more if it's humanly possible. Ahahaha, humanly. Magneto would be sick. The summary is also brilliant. I couldn't click for chapter one quick enough, really.

The repetition of Erik was driving me to the brink, it seems no matter how fast I read, it never satisfies the need to know everything the story offers in that one instant. Can I develop this ability as a mutation please..? ;')

I adore your writing style, it's just so flawless and easy to read, and enjoyable to read. I love the way you link things together and then bring them back for further impact. And the way you mix in your knowledgeable vocabulary in such a innocent, seemingly unnoticed way- aft. I could continue this word spill if I really wanted but frankly, it disgusts me and I know I'll look back on it wondering why an earth my fangirling self was allowed near a comment section. Ever.

Your writing turns me into a three year old on a sugar rush, and it's not endearing in the slightest, girl. I'm subbing, and I'll wait patiently. By patiently, I mean refreshing my inbox until the alert comes through telling me you're giving me more of this hopeless drug. I hope this means you'll hint-take.

*__* please and thank you.

You're banner was lovely. :)

The first chapter was nice. I think you might should've described his surroundings a bit more, but it was good that you focused mainly on Magneto's thoughts. And I like the whole John F. Kennedy deal. I don't know if you already have a plan for how he's gonna die, but if you don't, you should look up Maverick on Wikipedia. ;)

The second chapter was a little more confusing. I thought it was Magneto, then I thought it was Charles, then I knew it was Charles. The ending cleared it up a bit, but you could've made it easier on the reader a bit.

Now that my work is done--

FANGIRL MOMENT!!!!!!! I love X-Men, and I am DEFINITELY subscribing to this. :D

*flail*
I found myself adoring this chapter. The first half was confusing, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be that way. It's setting so many things up that I'm really curious as to see how everything plays out.
It wasn’t their fear he was feeling and it was their sweat he could sense tracing its way down fear riddled bodies. This sentence didn't quite make sense I'm not sure what it is about it, but it didn't.
But,
He needed to feel that peaceful feeling that had once engulfed him, and he needed it to shroud the cloud of fear embracing his ivory bones, the fear in the taste of his saliva and the fear dripping along his body.
THIS was like, the most drool-worthy description I've read in aaaaages

Your page break was awesome too. Just sayin'

Well firstly I love the story photo you've chosen. I also just like in general that this is an X-men story. Decent ones are very hard to come by and I have to say this is more than decent. The writing in just the first chapter is very well done and not by any means boring. I like each little detail you add in with Charles and Erik's relationship, and also the way humans had treated Erik when he was a child. Overall great plot.

I really do love the X-Men: First Class movie. And I think here that you both have done really well with building Charles and Erik. They're both brilliant characters and I think that you do them both very well. You bring this great sense of life and reality. I think you are really doing well here. Keep up the good work guys. I'm glad I stumbled onto this story now and not when it was like several chapters in >.>

Mmhmm, I was right. This is fantastic thus far.

Erik's character is just so... perfect. His reasoning is so in character and thought out and HIM, it's wonderful. And my inner history-nerd is GEEKING THE FUCK OUT. JFK ASSASSINATION OMFG AHHHHH!!!!!

Ahem

There were just a few spots where there needed to be commas, like, "With his mind now on Charles Xavier Erik couldn't help but think back, he thought of the last time they had been in each other's company" there should be one between Xavier and Erik.

But... stoked on my life for the rest of this. So looking foward to Charles' POV soon

Okay, I'll admit that I have seen the X-men movies and cartoons, but I don't know much about them. But from the sounds of this story and of what I know, it sounds great. I loved the detail you put into Eric's mind. I also believe that the lowout goes perfectly with this story. Normally I don't like fanfiction like this, but this one I love. Keep on writing.

Oh! I love X-Men! This looks like it'll be good. The summary and layout stuck out for me, and it sounds very interesting already.

Lovely first chapter. I like how it started out, how you subtly introduced the character. And from the first chapter, I think I'd love to see how it all plays out. Because it's subtlety is what I like best of all. It's not like 'holy sh*t here's a person and another person and lalala they like this and that and their nickname is this'. It's good. In some places the grammar was a bit awkward, but I don't think it's a big deal, because it's not really jumping out at me. (:

From this beginning, I see that it will be something I'd read. And I'll subscribe not only because I love X-Men, but because you are a good writer.

By the way: HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE COMMENTS. Jeez. X-Men is fantastic, guys. Get it together.