Cool story. It would be better if it was longer and had more of a plot to it. For example: what is the relationship between the girl and her mother? Are they in a love-hate relationship? Is she abusive or just over protective? Who is Zacky what's his situation? Just give more detail really, but it is good. I have a suggestion of you waking up in the hospital mother at your side or not. Then talk about Zacky and his relationship with the other character. (Relationships aren't always romantic remember)
August 9th, 2011 at 11:56pm
