An Insomniac's Summer - Comments

Hello! Revival judge here!

This is a cute story that highlights how Meili is coping and moving on with her life after Corey. I really like that aspect to this. However, I wasn't really a fan of all the time jumps that kept happening -- you do Meili's first meeting with Jude, then skip almost a year, then do a background dump in the next chapter, then we're back in the present, then the past, then the present. I feel like this just disrupts the flow of the story, especially when the background dump could have been spread throughout the story as we witness Meili further accepting Corey's now just a memory and her past.

Another thing I felt iffy about was how it felt like Meili and Jude's first meeting had her paying more attention to him rather than the school. I mean, they were stranger and he was just her guide, nothing more, and this was supposed to be a big decision for her, choosing her own school and everything, and I just didn't really like how it hardly even mattered.

I know this geared towards her and Jude getting together and everything, but it felt like everything was just too convenient -- first Jude has a girlfriend, then Meili gets introduced to Giovanni, they hit it off, Jude's girlfriend cheats on them, followed closely by Giovanni suddenly declaring that he has to leave for a year. Undeniable attraction coupled with how Jude and Meili didn't want to hurt their partners would have been a good plotline to follow, I think.

Regardless about that, it was a cute read and I did enjoy reading it for the contest!

I love this soooo much. Glad you're writing some more! Intense on 9. Like, now what is she going to do when Giv is leaving? Her and Jude man... xD. Anyways, yeah. I want moar. Keep going. c:

Mandy that whore broke poor Jude's heart. I love this story :D

I like the way you write. It's awesome so far. I was wondering who plays Mady & Meli?

This looks really good so far -- I really like your writing style(: