Adam's Inferno - Comments

First off, I have to say that the layout was lovely. It all melded so well together, and I just loved it; the picture especially. Next, I also want to say that I loved the title. It made me think of Dante’s Inferno, and I just had to click on it. Even though it was short, I absolutely adored it. The raw, descriptive words you used were just downright beautiful, and you made it flow so, so well. There was one place where the flow faltered just a little bit, and I wanted to point it out just because it felt a little off. My body begs for mercy, its screams are, however, raspy whispers dancing through the flames. – I felt like there were too many commas, then I thought that it was just the word however. I think if you removed that word, it would made that sentence less choppy. :) All in all, a very excellent job, and I quite enjoyed it!

<3 Haven

(Also, I'm running off to read the prequel right now. )

layout
okay, i love the layout. i've been noticing recently {due to my obsessive bracelet making especially} that a lot of colors i didn't think would go together do! this is one of those cases, and i really love the combination. might just be my new favorite color scheme.

banner
the simplicity of this banner… ugh! you and rowen i swear. if i was this good at making the simple things look amazing i don't know what i'd do with myself!! the only thing i'd even consider changing is the placement of the story title, and honestly i like it there so, there went that ^.^

summary
ooh! methinks it's foreshadowing! i like it, makes me interested in what i'm about to read! i already have some guesses and predictions, let's see what happens :D

story review
okay, you are perfect and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. i think i especially love this because i love fire quite a lot myself. you write in such a way where i really am thinking of the smell, the heat, the smoke blowing in your eyes and blinding you due to the wind. i'm thinking of paper "melting" in the flames, and that's simply in the first "paragraph".

I was never ready for this. I was not ready to burn.

totally my favorite lines. second guessing sucks. and as robert frost once hinted at destruction of fire > destruction of ice. you prepared me so much for thinking it was your final moment and then you hit me with: The inferno is not yet strong enough. I must wait, wait, wait…. ugh, i'd like to be annoyed but it's too perfect. somewhere within me it's fulfilled something. i love this quite a lot, i can't tell you why really. i just do! probably your writing style. the nice part of me loves it, and the jealous author in me resents it 'cause it wishes it wrote it :D