haha i love this story! is so good! and for Brian Girlfriend... Name: Jessica-Nichole Lynn Ferrana-Sixx (daughter of Nikki Sixx, but if you don't want her to be someone famous her last name could be Knight!) Nicknames: Jess, Jessi, Jessica, Nik, Nichole, J.N., Nikki Looks: 5'10'' Long legs that look like they could go on forever with brown loose curly hair and deep brown eyes age: 21 Birthday: December 2nd
It's really good, but I just wanted to know if you ever thought of splitting up the paragraphs... and when a new chara starts talking to give them there on paragraph...? I really like your story, but it is hard to follow with it all flowing together like that.