Last Night - Comments

Awesome Lyrics Contest Comment
Not horrible at all.
I thought that this was really good.
It was very well written and I love the detail you used.
I liked how you described the characters throughout the story.
Also, I think that this story fits very nicely with the lyrics you had. The whole song, actually.
I like the relationship between Luke and Ash. They're keeping it a secret, yet they really love each other.
Good job.

I envy you. Your first sex scene is a lot better than all my years writing sex scene together. ^_^

He just wanted to be alone with Luke at the moment and these people were preventing this. Luke raised his eyes also, meeting Ash’s so that his heart jerked traitorously. He strolled to the couch, sitting beside Luke but not saying anything. They both averted their eyes down, staring at each other's legs for no apparent reason. Only a moment had passed before Ash's patience went down the drain.

I can feel the tension there. *wink*

This is very, very well written. I detected some typos but they're nothing bad.

I love how you portray the characters, Luke and Ash. It's just adorable how they're completely different but at the same time, they completed each other. As people say, opposite attracts. Like, I always say to my friends, when two people who are different get together, they're like two pieces of matching puzzles. They complete each other and making everything perfect. The relationship between Luke and Ash proves this.

It's sad though that it's their last night together. =(

Dude, I like... worship your detail.
And this is your first time writing sex?
Unf. It's better that mine, and I've written slash and hereto sex for like... 4+ years.
Genius. <3

Good luck (;

xo

Awww, that was cute. I really liked your descriptions of Ash's surrondings, but I especially loved how much background and depth you have to Ash and Luke's relationship. I don't often see that in one-shots, and I was really glad to see that here. I've never really red graphic slash, but there's a first time for everything xD You definietly made it graphic, but at least you made it a classy kind of graphic...I don't really know how to describe what I mean by that, but basically, the graphic portion was written with good descriptions, and wasn't just OH GOSH GUYS WE'RE HAVING SEX. I also really loved that even though there was sex in this story, that wasn't just it, there was a story to it. Fantastic job!

[fonts=times]Luke was everything Ash wasn’t and maybe that was why they were so good together. Luke was like a drug to Ash, he could never get enough of him. That really stood out for me, it was lovely. Hmmm. Well, honestly, this was my first time reading a slash but... I like it. Lol I really do. It was romantic but sad because Luke will be going away -sniff- <3