Practice Makes Perfect. - Comments

I'm in love with this! Hockey is my passion and I'm glad that I found an awesome hockey story on here. :) This is great! I subscribed. Update soon!

Thank you! I just posted the next chapter, unless you read that already, Haha. Thank you, again <3

I already love this book! Update soon!

Thank you! :) And don't worry! Critiques is what I want! Thanks for reading and subscribing! It means a lot! :)

Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyyy(: I felt like doing a critique, soooo here it is:3 Btw, sorry if I get a bit picky. ^o^ Just trying to help out.
Okay, first of all, I loved the title. :') And the plot sounded really interesting, imo.
Now for Chapter 1. Critiques.
The first paragraph was very well written, so great job. :) When you wrote ' “ I lub hot-tee!” she yelled, out randomly. Hopefully catching the attention. ' , it seemed to me like it was...well, it could have been worded differently. Such asss; "I lub hot-tee!" she yelled out randomly, hopefully catching the attention." <---Like that(: But it seems that happened a few times in the chapter, so you should probably fix that. :3 Sorry for being picky, but once again, I'm just trying to help..
Now, I really, really, REALLY enjoyed the part where the daddy and the little girl have their hockey game! <3 It made me feel all warm inside. :')
Further into the first chapter, there were some punctuation mistakes. Like, you could take away, or even add, a few commas and periods in some places. ^~^
In a couple places, you should probably make your present tense phrases, into past tense so it doesn't confuse your readers. :D
OH! And I really loved the ending to your first chapter<3
I think I kinda fell in love. :') I won't critqiue your first chapter, cuz I wanna do someone else's. :p BUT! I will subscribe, because it sounds really good, and it caught my attention. :D
Great job, kiddo!
xx

Haha No problem! :) and thanks!

your welcome!(: & your very welcome(the chapter note :D). The plot is really goood.

Thank you! :) It means a lot that you like this! :) I will update as soon as possible! :)

awww<3 i'm in love with this story already. please update soon. i, two, love hockey