I am an Albatross. - Comments

I must admit, I found the first part of the first chapter difficult to get through. But I didn't want to give a half-assed comment, so I continued on with it. And wow. Just wow. I'm so glad I did.

“July, I want you to marry me.” and her reply? Guh. That hurt. This is just so... different from what I usually read. July is so cold, but I want everything to work out for her. I want her to be happy. You've made me sympathise with her, so well done.

I really can't wait for the next update.

Oh, and your sex scene was very tasteful :) It was passionate rather than sexy (and, yes, that is a compliment ).

I'm sorry, but... I can't not compare 'In that moment, I decided I wanted him.' to that scene in Wonder Boys.

Because, seriously.

"... I'm gonna fuck this kid."

That is the expression I saw.

No, but, in all seriousness -- okay, you know what? You get a real comment tomorrow when you're not distracting me with entirely inappropriate text messages, because I have been typing this comment for one hour and look at how far I've gotten.

So, I'll go into depth, later, yeah?

Excellent.

(Comment Swap) maybe the layout is a bit grey and washed out in the colours?
The way you say "fuck", just came out wrong in my eys. is that just me?
Such an anoying boy, in what I saw.
(Chapter1)
Some joy in an otherwise so desolate and down toned story?
A vocabulary seldom seen. linding something more to the story.
Such delightful vocabulary, smeared by the words spoken. I feel a gap between the narative and the spoken words, there's no joy in what's said, or I'm mistaken?

*from comment swap*
I really like your title, and the layout. Although I think you used too many big words in your summary, making it kinda hard to read. I love your writing style, and how you describe your characters' emotions. Great job! :))

[img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpgs2qs9m81qexw8m.gif[img]
Omgomgmg.

You updated. I need to reread it and all since it's been so long, but I've been pining for this every so often and I'm so so so sososososo happy you updated.

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouuuuuuuu. <333

Just wanted to let you know. Off to read~.

Sorry about my weird comment. Mibba's mean sometimes. >:c

Omgomgmg.

You updated. I need to reread it and all since it's been so long, but I've been pining for this every so often and I'm so so so sososososo happy you updated.

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouuuuuuuu. <333

[img]media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lck634c5Lo1qzez5w.gif[/img]

Just wanted to let you know. Off to read~.

I love the title. Albatross. I like saying that word. Albatross.

the layout is gorgeous, too. And Trevor looks just like my gym teacher!! XD

The summary was a bit too descriptive for me. You don't really need a descriptive word before everything. It was still really really good though.

The story too is great. And unlike the summary I think the description is just perfect the way it is! :)

the characters seem to be real, because you are so good at describing how they feel and what they are doing. You even describe things that in real life are so trivial that I don't even notice myself doing them, and therefore I wouldn't put it in a story, but you do and that's awesome!

This is great! Keep up the good work!

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE COMMENTS?! D:

Ah, I really love this. The description and emotion simple blow my mind. I’m not the biggest on sex scenes, because they can turn me off of a story (just by how they are told and why happens during), but this one was really well written. I love the description you use. It makes for some of the most beautiful prose. Do you know how wonderful you are? xD

And I seriously adore the banner picture. And the second chapter! I really like her. She’s selfish, but seems like she’s flesh out very nicely. She’s pretty much a solid character now. xD I like her and all of her imperfections. And Trev! My. I like him. He seems a little clingy almost. Poor guy. I truly like the story and characters. They are imperfect and so real, but, in my opinion, it’s what makes them so perfect. So subscribing. <3

I love this story!

Christ, can I... Can I just...? I don't even...

This chapter. There's something about this chapter, and it's not the easiest to put my finger on. I think I'm most inspired by the ability to take such a more or less average situation and keep me intrigued and in awe the whole way through. I mean, you know me. You know I'm the kind of person to just skip what I don't find necessary to read. But, I quite honestly don't want to miss a single letter amongst these striking words. There's just a beautiful simplicity to this chapter, the dialogue is effortless, flawless, and these characters, good lord, these characters. I love the dynamic. I hate to see Trev be such a pushover, and there's something dreadfully captivating about July and every goddamn syllable on her lips. The vocabulary, as usual, is beyond me. Those certain words I tend to happen across are like chocolate chips dropped among cookie dough. That was a really stupid simile, but you get what I mean. I find myself wondering why I've never used words like these, before. They're so...

Nngh. As always, you leave me speechless. After reading something like this, I only feel like doing the Paula Abdul thing in Meet The Spartans where she slams her head down on the table and claps all slowly and tearfully over her head. I just... There are no words. I'm sorry I'm such a clutz with portraying exactly why I'm so inspired. But, I love you, and... don't ever stop being so goddamn brilliant and don't ever stop writing this unnerving masterpiece.

So here's the thing. I like this. And I am in a very strange mood, so I'm apologizing in advance for what I'm about to say. (Not that I'm sorry. I can't remember the last time I was sorry for something I said.)

You need to update this. Simply because I said so. And if you don't, when I take over the world I am going to find you and lock you up like the Key-Maker in the Matrix until you do. So there.

:) Wow. This is fantastic, honestly, just a great piece of work you have here. I hope you can get a chance to work on it, because I'm definitely subscribing.

Odd as this is, I quite enjoyed reading. Not my style, really, as heterosexual sex scenes interest me not. The way you have it written, it was actually pleasing to read. Had this odd, grotesque beauty to it.
The way you wrote with just enough detail to show the reader how you meant, but left enough room for imagination to come to play.. It was all beautiful. Truly gorgeous. I loved it. You write quite well.

I would've commented sooner, but you've been keeping me distracted with our text conversation. Tsk.

Anyway, this was a delightful surprise, being that you won't tell me much about the story... I don't know, I like it that way, though. It gives me a little something more to be on-edge about while I'm reading. I would ask that you stop telling me about Wasted, but I'm far, far too interested and wouldn't allow you to keep quiet, anyway.

July is... holy shit. July is certainly something. You weren't lying when you said that she's nasty to Trev. I feel for the guy a bit, but... why does he let her do that? I can't pity him if he has the ability to just -- never mind, I pity Michael, and he's in a similar situation. I have no say.

I get a weird feeling that Trev reminds me of Trent. Could just be the name. Not quite sure.

Also...

His lips wandered from my jaw to my ear and along the preexistent channel of obtrusive bruises and moderate lacerations that coated my neck and clavicles, settling there amongst the others to add to the collection.

Why do we pass our monstrosities onto our characters...? I don't think there are all too many out there who truly enjoy hardcore biting, but I feel that it's near tradition with us and everything we touch.

Either way, though. Hah. xD

I really do love this, and I expect some amazingly fast updates, being that you're writing like a maniac, as of late.