It's a good start! The only qualm I have is that the storyline is a bit cliche. It's cute, don't get me wrong, but a little too run-of-the-mill for me. But other than that, its written fantastically! It almost seems like a fanfiction (sorry if it is and I'm just too stupid to notice lol) with the way it's written. I love that kind of style! Anyway, keep on writing! You're doing an awesome-possum job!