Students Allied Against God - Comments

  • spacejunkie

    spacejunkie (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    103
    Location:
    Australia
    This is quite a weird beginning, and, to be honest, I found the scene you started it with to be rather uncomfortable. I don't really know these characters at all, and so that's a strange, personal and sort of gross place to be taking me as soon as I'm introduced to them. I think it's going to be a bit of a turn-off for a lot readers.

    That said, I also think that's unfortunate, because you are a very good writer, especially for your age. You're not too verbose, nor do you just thoughtlessly rattle off a sequence of events. You are at all points clear and readable.

    The first chapter is just really odd.
    August 7th, 2011 at 04:01am
  • SweetCyanide93

    SweetCyanide93 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Nope not bad at all, it interesting and can go places.
    August 6th, 2011 at 02:32am