Fane - Comments

You're writing style makes me jealous. I am so done with mine. Can I take yours?

I absolutely love this. It is everything and more I love in a drabble. I love how effortlessly you seem to make the words just spill into one another and the way that although I’m not one hundred percent sure what’s going on, it just flows together and makes a beautiful image. The descriptions are spot on and aren’t too flowery and yet, as said, create a picture in your mind and therefore makes it that more enjoyable. It’s a really odd one because it’s the sort of drabble where anyone who reads this can make this whatever they want it to be – and although there is an obvious meaning behind it for you, it opens up all sorts of different possibilities for the reader.

I really really liked it. It hit me as being quite abstract and that’s probably why I enjoyed it so much and although it appears to be quite simple on the surface, you can tell there’s a lot of depth and meaning too it if you look between the lines.

oh my god -.-
I'm just going to shrink back into my little hole
because
that was really really good
okay.
yeah.
really good.

Firsly, I found the name of the story and the layout very interesting, they made me eager to read the story and find out how they both link together.

I really like your description, the use of sibilance in the second sentence really grabbed my attention,. I liked the metaphor about seeping through the floorboards, it reminded me of buried secrets, and things being closer than you think.

I really like the mystery of this piece, and your use of unusual objects, like the rabbits foot or the winter solstice. It leaves the reader to be able to interpret the piece in many different ways and give the story many different feels.

This is a really good piece, I especially loved the phrasing ‘goddamn hungry mutt.’ and the last two sentences with ‘milk’ and ‘honey’ used, it adds to the mystery.

I really love this(: Your words are really descriptive and put a vivid image in my head. I loved the similes you used; they flowed very nicely! Your style of writing sounded very professional. I can't believe this doesn't have more comments D: I have no negatives on this one--everything was simply...perfect. :D The layout was...interesting. It wouldn't be something I would expect for this type of drabble, but I think that it fits well, even if it's not exactly my taste. The picture is what stuck out to me, mostly, and struck me as unexpected.

Nicely done! :3

I wish I could write like this! Your imagery flows so naturally, and you manage to convey a strong image to the reader whilst leaving them to piece together the story themselves, which is a great skill. I couldn't find anything wrong with this at all, I loved it.

Wow. I saw this on the contest thread and read it multiple times. I'm really struggling to write a proper comment now because it practically left me speechless. Your choice of words, the story you tell with them... it's beautiful in a tragic way that crawls under your skin and puts a lump in your throat. It's one of the best drabbles I've read here on Mibba. Good luck with the contest! :)

Wow. this was intresting.