Becoming Blind - Comments

I don't like the layout of the story. It just doesn't fit this type of story. The summary wasn't to my liking either. It was like my friend asked me what the main theme of the story was, and I replied to her with that sentence you used as your summary. Change it and write something that pull the readers in.

For the main chapter, I believe that you did a pretty good job. That's were your true talent showed. The first paragraph, showed us what the narrator felt in her heart and the important reason of why she prefer not being able to see than seeing. I adore the first paragaph, it showed emotion. You have managed to keep a nice flow through the piece and it was done nicely. I like how the story moved from her thinking of why she wanted to remain blind, to her past with him and the words he had said to her as well as what happened when he wasn't with her anymore.

He never made me feel like I was missing out on sight. Instead, he made me feel as if I was gifted.
That's really nice. For a blind person to have someone by her side who manages to have such a positive effect on her, that's great.

You don’t need to see.
That showed his feelings clearly. He loved her without her sight and he would keep loving her even if she was never able to see again.

Now all I had was a picture of a face I didn’t know.
The ending is honestly tragic and I can only imagine how the narrator must have felt. She was blind, she had never seen him and now he was dead. She held on to the photograph of him which didn't feel like him.

That was beautiful. If it wasn't for the layout and the summary, this great piece of writing would have gotten ten out of ten writing pens.

~Marian.

This was beautiful.
The mood of the piece made my heart bleed for her and my eyes water. She's so regretful of her choice to see how the world is really ugly and not beautiful how the love she once had had shown. Wonderful <3

Story was cool.

Wow, that was fantastic! You don't really get many stories on here about blindness or partial blindness so it's rather unique, too. I also like how she regrets having the surgery. I'm sure not everyone who chooses to go through with that kind of thing just wakes up like 'woo-hey, I can see! I'm gonna see a film without audio description!' - at first it would probably be a total shock, especially the things in the world no one wants to see. And romance, too, which everyone loves! Not sure I understand the grave part but never mind. Excellent :)