Pulse. - Comments

I. Loved. This.

Seriously, it was beautiful. Poetry, really.

The descriptions you used were very fluid and gave the reader a good sense of feeling. Like you were in the characters head, which is hard to do in so few words.

Also the layout is pure genius. It fit really well with the story.

Great job! You have talent, my dear :)

This was short, but brilliant. It was written beautifully and the layout really matched the mood you'd set, I thought it was brilliant.

Someone began to play some music out into the night air, and they became infected with the rhythm ~ I loved this line and the ones that followed. Just the way you described how the music was part of them, literally, just as a fact, because I know how it feels to have it feel like you're joined to the music and it's such a hard feeling to describe. Also using the word 'infected', for me at least, kind of brought it back to you mentioning how they'd taken the pills, and I thought that was really well done. All of it was just fantastic.

I thought you'd of done something with ghosts, so this was very surprising. Good job, there! The writing was vivid and flowed wonderfully. It was rather poetic. I didn't find anything wrong with grammar. As a drabble, this was very good.

The layout is interesting, btw. I like how you put the picture at the bottom and had it fade into the black background.

Before I jump into my full thoughts, I caught a little grammatical error: "Their vision was dancing in circles as they stumbled over towards the swings." It should be "Their visions were" because of the plural possessive 'their.'

The layout for this drabble was really captivating even though it's so simple; it didn't take anything away from the story, which I liked a lot. Your descriptions are very vivid and your words flowed so smoothly. I especially loved the concluding sentence about catching the stars in their palms, because contrasted with what they were doing with the pills, it was a very innocent and childlike thing to do. It makes me wonder if most people let their guard down after doing drugs or if it's a rarity...either way, this was a brilliant piece. It was short and simple but it definitely spoke volumes.

Well done!

I liked this.
It was really dark and a little weird. And awesome.
And I think that the story went perfectly with the picture/layout.
You did a good job of telling a lot in so few words.

I really liked this alot. Short & sweet...but deep. Well done