Sworn to Love, Sworn to Kill - Comments

Interesting story and concept. I'm not entirely sure I understood everything you were trying to get across in the first chapter: there was a lot of information in a small space. Like why are there two, and I'm not sure what the point is? Surely an adult would be better suite to being a bodyguard than a child. Why two of them at all? Why isn't the other one turned? If both protectors are humans then how does the protector become a vampire so that he can turn in the royal into a vampire? Is there a special relationship between creator and progeny?

I think the best thing would be to give this story a spell check and add some extra space between the paragraphs to make it easier to read, and to space the exposition out a little more.

It's an interesting story, not my cup of tea, but interesting none the less. I would advise reading over the summary again as there are a few spelling mistakes. Also I love the layout but perhaps changing it sot hat the picture doesn't scroll with you as you read, it can be a bit distracting. Also spacing between paragraphs can help the readers read the story better, but that is just personal opinion :) Other than that though I don't really have much to say, keep it up!