December 31st, 2010 at 05:47am
I read the first chapter just so I wouldn't be confused about anything. I'm not that big a fan of fanfictions, but I liked the way you started - describing the bad fanfics and how OFs are in danger. The first chapter was cute, I think I got it - it's her story coming to life, right?
Well, since the first chapter was a quick read, I read the some others as well. Your story just pulled me in. Maybe because it was a fast read, but it made me smile in some parts.
I'm on to Chapter Four now, but I stopped long enough to write this. There weren't errors in the story, but there were some things to fix:
You don't have to put ch. 1, ch.2 , ch. 3 etc. There are numbers by each name that say what number it is. The quotes around the titles need to be removed, and all words should be capitalized like the story title, also.
Good job.
=D
I love the idea of a story comming to life, the only thing I wish you'd do is extend it.
I know long stories aren't really your thing, but there's so much youcould od with this one!
Like what did they do during the days? What was actually in her story?
And what did her and Justin do together? Why did she fall in love with him?
Other than that I LOVED IT!