Chained. - Comments

I'm very anxious to read more of this story

I. Love. This.
Definetly subscribing.
I get that it's [loosely] based on something true, but that's what makes me interested in it. Something like this had actually happened. I really enjoyed reading this. I also really like your writing style, it's cool.

I love the summarry, I love the layout. This story is facinating to me, it's unque and aqmazing.
I love the way you describe things and the imagery of her with all that he done to her. I love how you put it to when they get saved, and I'm wondering what will happen next, like will she truly die or what? I love the way each sentence flows with eachother.Good work :D

Wow, this is amazing! You're off to a fantastic start.

The descriptions of their pain and their injuries are so well written that I cringe; when you talked about the gash in Evelyn's cheek, I made a little noise out of disgust. It was that vivid. I could almost literally feel the metal bed searing the kid's back. And the way that you portayed the boy as feeling as if he were fine, even though he was fatally wounded too, just because his sister was in worse condition was good, too. It shows what abuse can do to a person's mindset.

I love the way you set it up - how you've fast forwarded to when they finally get help, and how you're going to now rewind and tell it all from the beginning. It's creative and original. The plot is somewhat original too; it's refreshing to read about something like this as opposed to the typical stuff that is posted on here.

You also really capture the setting well. The filthy little sheet, the bed; just the way you generally described things made it seem like a nasty, grimy hell hole. I could picture it in my head, and you didn't even give an extremely detail description. That was good. You have a good way with portraying things without going in too deep with detail.

Only one thing I have to point out as far as typos: you use a lot of commas. Some sentences are almost run-ons. It wasn't a total nuisance, but if you want to shape up your story a bit, I would suggest just a wee bit of editing.

I'm really looking forward to reading more of this. I'm hooked. I want to know all about how their mother died, why their father killed himself, why he beat them, etc. etc. And I also want to learn more about their surival. Does Evelyn die? Do they turn out okay in the end? I'm really intrigued. Awesome, awesome chapter!

Good work!

I couldn't not read this though I know some of it is going to be hard.
It's off to a good start and I can't wait to see how you go about this.

I knew about the Sylvia Likens story, and it breaks my heart. I will never understand how people can be so cruel.

That being said, I think your story is off to a wonderful start. I can already tell it might be difficult to read some parts - due to content, not your writing. I'll be subscribing though, and am looking forward to an update. Good luck!

I like this so far-its a good start. :)

I watched the movie "An American Crime." I'm currently reading articles on the internet about Sylvia Likens and what happened to her.

I like what you've written so far--I'll be waiting for updates. :)