Insecure Girl. - Comments

I finished. I loved this because this is what a story is. This is real and it actually happens. It brought me to tears and only a good writer can do that. I wish it didn't end so soon but at least we get to know she's free. This is amazing. Good job.

So, I just read the first chapter. I don't know why, but I'm crying. I guess I can relate to her, at least a little. Thanks alot, black mascara all over now. Anyway, I'm gonna subscribe to this because just the first chapter is amazing. I'm gonna finish reading right now since I don't want to end on a bad note. lol. Anyway, this is great so far. Not everything brings me to tears which means this was well written and I felt emotion. I even felt like I was the lead character.

So, I just read the first chapter. I don't know why, but I'm crying. I guess I can relate to her, at least a little. Thanks alot, black mascara all over now. Anyway, I'm gonna subscribe to this because just the first chapter is amazing. I'm gonna finish reading right now since I don't want to end on a bad note. lol. Anyway, this is great so far. Not everything brings me to tears which means this was well written and I felt emotion. I even felt like I was the lead character.

I loved the way you described the skeleton girl, dissecting her inner thoughts and showing the reader how a bulimic person thinks. The twist at the end was really great and I enjoyed reading this story from front to back, although it made me feel a tad downtrodden. I loved the imagery but, at the same time, there were some sentences that didn't necessarily make complete sense, grammatically. I think you messed up a bit, although it really isn't THAT noticeable. Perhaps you could ask someone on Mibba to look over it, you know, help you edit it. That's the only criticism I have for you! :3

I really liked that last chapter. I loved the 'blonde skeleton' description... especially linking with the banner. I like how she found the strength to not just take it any more. I kind of like that she went crazy and fought back.
If you wrote a sequel I'd read it. I'm intrigued and want to know more.

Good lord, that last chapter was brutal. I felt myself cringing through out the entire thing - it was just so wonderfully disturbing. The banner creeped me out as well as how you called her a "blonde skeleton" towards the very end. I could see it very vividly in my head and that's what creeped me out even more. This was a great ending and I plan on going back to the start and reading. To answer your question, I do think you should write a sequel to this. It would most definitely be interesting. Lovely job, darling. <3

Oh dear god. This story... wow. I only read the last chapter, because that's where the swap took me, and my goodness, I don't even have to read the others to know just how heart-wrenchingly wonderful this is. It struck me, and I was literally gasping in shock and everything.

I'm going to go read the beginning now. Marvelous job, darling.

I really liked this and maybe I'll go and read the whole thing. (:

I liked the main character, how she just went and stood up for herself and she realized that being skin and bones isn't everything.

You had a few grammar mistakes but nothing too big.

The layout was really pretty.

Great job! <3 (:

I just want to say that stories about eating disorders, although not my favorite thing to read, are completely interesting. It’s really makes me sad reading stories like this because eating disorders or having image issues can happen to just about anyone.

She pulled at the barley there skin on her stomach and cried out loud.
This is the only mistake that I found, which was located in the second chapter. Barley should be barely.

Anyway, I think this is a very interesting and well-written story. I don’t think anything needs to change because it is good the way it is, minus the small mistake that I found. Great job and good luck with this story.

This is a very nice story, it's one of those "this could happen to anyone" stories and I really like that! Those are the kinds of things I enjoy reading and I never seem to find them anywhere on mibba so this was refreshing. The layout is pretty and the story is easy to read.

There are a coupld of things I would change though. I'd get rid of the strikouts on those few sentences you used it on, they didn't seem necesary and it was a bit out of place.

Also, at the start of chapter two you need to fix one of the words (you may not have noticed it, it's something I miss all the time the first time I read through my stuff). It says "Looked up in the mirror and the only thing she seen was a fat and ugly body never thought she was queen." You need to change the bolded word to "saw".

Other than those couple of things this was perfect. Great job!
You should be proud of this piece, it's great!

I really like the theme of this story - it's super relatable, even though not a lot of people have been models, and I completely understand where Elaina is coming from with her low self esteem.
The lyrics really tie everything together nicely as well. It doesn't detract from the story and it's not distracting, which is also a plus.
One thing I'd change is the struck out text. Some of it works very well, like in the first part, but then when you say things like, "Only a dream.I’ll never be that skinny" it's a bit confusing because that is what she's really thinking about herself, while everything else was what people thought of her that she deemed wrong (if that makes any sense).
Other than that, great job! This is a powerful piece :)

Wow, you've hit the right insecurity. I know a lot of girls who see pounds of fat on them when they weigh less then my four year old cousin. I really like the first chapter, how it started off as a dream of being a model, it tells you why she thinks she's fat because in all honesty, those girls are skinny. The second chapter was disturbing. Throwing up is hard to do and when you're forcing it, it hurts more than just your throat. At least for me it did. I felt disgusted with myself because it seemed to be the only way that I lost weight. Le sigh. Anyway, this is wonderful, a little more description could be put in here and there but other than that this was good (:

This is pretty good. I think the banner fits the story, but I'm not too sure if you have to change it, like your mom; said.
The story is very well written. I read somewhere that when starting a story, you shouldn't start with a dream, but I think you did it just fine. I don't get the difference of the bold and slashed off, but I'm just... That's just me.
I hope this was helpful, and I don't mean to be mean at all.
Bye!

Hello(: nice story you got there. I don't really understand the plot yet, but it looks promising. I think you should change the picture or something, because it could get reported. Right? Yeah, anyway, subbing (: