Amelia. - Comments

It would be awesome if you kept up with this.

I really love this story so far! It's a different view of human trafficking/slavery and I really like that. I like the layout (I wish it was a bit easier to read though) and the amount of effort you're pouring into this story is awesome. I don't know why you say at almost the end of each chapter that it sucked, because it didn't. So please stop saying stuff like that.
I'm really looking forward to the next update, so please write more soon!

@ soccerluvergirl
I know it's none of my business, but how are you offened by what she said? All she said was that there was a few mistakes in the story. And then she gave the author a lot of compliments. I'm not really seeing the problem...

Kinki Jinki, live with it. The world is not perfect. U don't have to make someone feel bad by saying that stuff.

Omg im in love

Omg im in love

Omg im in love

I just found your story somehow.
I did notice a couple of minor mistakes like the commenter below pointed out, but it's no biggie.
The way you describe feelings and sensations is amazing and it's great to see a different story around here, that is not a fan fic about a popular rock band in high school. This piece does make me cringe, though and well, it should. The whole sex slave issue reminds me of Monarch Programming, did you ever hear about that?
Good job. I'm recommending ^^

Comment Swap took me to this story, I probabaly would not have come accross this story if it wasn't for this. I've actually never read about a child sex slave before, so this was a little bit of a shock when I read the summary of the story, but somehow I was intrgiued by it.

Prologue: There were a few gramatical errors that I noticed, mostly the use of the comma. Here are two examples,
"Dark, wisps of smoke curled up towards the ceiling slowly" There's no need for the comma after Dark
"A few, mutters went around the room as cards were laid down ensued by more draws from cigars and deep thinking." There's no comma needed after a few.

I think that you did a good job of capturing setting and giving it that errie feeling. I like how you were able to capture the essence of a three year old girl. However, the thought of a child slave still makes me cringe a little bit, but I still want to keep reading.

(As I read more, I'll post more comments!)

The summary for this story is very interesting, but almost kind of cringe-worthy. To suggest that a child sex slave would be happy in that life is just... Horrifying, honestly. I understand that there's a twisted kind of love there and it's all she knows, but to imply that it's a happy life is upsetting, to say the least.
In your writing you use a lot of the same words or phrases excessively--I'd keep an eye out for that. Ex: Each person is "no older than" x.
Chapter two: "It was better described as an unhealthy obsession; an addiction of sorts. But more about that later." I would strike the "but more about that later". It's not necessary and ruins the flow of the story.
Chapter seven: "tripping over her own, feet more often than not." Comma should be removed.

Chapter four seemed like part of a chapter rather than a stand alone. I think it would be better integrated into your story as such. There just wasn't any action in it, so it might be better suited coupled with another.

At first there's really not much of a reason to dislike Mark until you hit six and seven. He's malicious and horrifying--which I believe you want your readers to feel. I'm still not certain about Charlie, although I much prefer him to Mark. I'm anxious to see where this goes.

Also, Amelia is one of my absolute favorite names.

the prologue was simply haunting. i didn't want to read it, but i didn't want to stop right at the same time. the writing was lovely. i can't wait to read the rest of it after i've finished this comment. but really, the writing is just enchanting. <3

I hope you're still updating this! Your writing is so good!

It's great so far can't wait to read some more ! :)

I like this last chapter... things are starting to pick up! yee I like it

Ooooh, intense ;) This looks really interesting, I can't wait for another chapter!

Comments make me happy.

Comments are nice.