Be Someone - Comments

I was bored and I came across this story. I thought it was nice. Layout was awsome.

"I will be someone who every girl dreams of being. I will be someone everyone loves. I will be someone I am proud of."
That's a really interesting statement. A powerful statement. Should she be proud of who she is anyway? Regardless if people like her or not? I mean.. maybe that's just me... but for this story that really worked. You could sense her desperation. I really liked how you used all the senses, sight, sound, smell, even temperature. It gave a rich depth to the description and allowed to reader to immerse themself in the scene. Great one shot! Also loved your layout you little layout genius! =D

I really like this. I know some people can relate to her feelings, and how some people just want to be notice. I like stories that reader's can relate too. I did get bit lost but towards the end I was back. Your details were really good, made it seem real.

The summary was good, it drew me in as well as the tittle. I like titles that catches my eye.

Overall this is a really good one-shot :)

I liked it :) the character although we didn't know her name, as a reader we can relate her feelings. As most girls have felt like this, I think people should be proud no matter what. I loved the storyline.
For a 13 year old, you're extremely talented

i love it!!!!!! i wish u would write more!

I really like love the details this story owns and the way it flows. The plot and the way it was made was also like amazing so yeah I don't know what else to say.

That had got to be the best piece I have ever read! It's really good. I like the plot that she wants to be proud of herself and that she is taken on by someone who is proud of herself. It blew me away.

Amazing!

This is good! It's very character driven and I like that. It seems like you came up with a character and then wrote a bit about her. I like who she is and her ambitions, and you did a good job of describing it.

The plot development was good, and it led up to a good ending. I like that she wants to be proud of herself and make something out of herself.

Great job!

I think that's depressing and someone ought to be proud of who they are regardless of who they are. Someone should take pride in their features and not being like someone else, and it's sad how depressed people get...

The story, in my opinion, should be elaborated. As, the characters should be more introduced and the pace shouldn't be as fast, it would give this piece more depth, and it would make for an interesting story, in my opinion. I liked the concept of it, that's why I am saying this.

Though, the transition to her standing there to running away was a bit awkward and I did get a bit lost, but, that was alright, I caught up to it. Like I said, it should be elaborated, in my opinion, but that's just me.

Good job.