Scar. - Comments

Wow that shocked me a little bit ,but where is Amy.

Hm, that was kind of odd. Not a bad odd but kind of an interesting odd. I've never watched Doctor Who, but I have read a bit of fanfic and I've never read a Rory/Eleven so that was interesting to read.

I liked how you described The Doctor's scar. It was very simple but I think if you described it in any more detail it would have been almost overdone. Actually it seemed like that throughout the whole story. Nothing was overly detailed, exactly, but everything worked really well. I could still picture things that were going on and I wasn't confused about much so that was good.

I liked aphrodisiac thing at the end. I felt like it kind of explained things that were going on but didn't exactly at the same time. I still wanted to know why they were being so violent but maybe there was no reason behind it, exactly.

Anyways, I think you wrote this very well and I really liked it!

This was very odd, but I really enjoyed reading it all the same. I kind of like the way that neither of them are entirely certain what happened or why it happened. As usual, I feel like you nailed the characterization (like when The Doctor had that look that he wanted to explain, but then just said something unrelated and traveled on or when all he could say was "This isn't good at all". I could just see that in my head perfectly.) All in all the effect of this fic is just intriguing and sort of mesmerizing (well for me anyway.) It's unlike most of what I read, but I think that made it all the more interesting to read.

The first thing I thought when reading was that I liked the straightforward way you described the Doctor's scar, and that even though the description is pretty simple, it's still worded perfectly. The second thing I thought was, If Rory's never seen the scar and the Doctor doesn't like talking about, how does he know it's there?

I really really love the way you do dialogue here. I think it adds a lot to the narration and, possibly, it makes me wonder about the tense a bit – is it really past, present, or future tense? - even though I know what tense it actually is. I wonder if that's done because the characters are the Doctor and Rory and perhaps they exist outside of time so there isn't any 'real' tense they can be speaking in and therefore we don't know if the conversation is happening now or in the past or in the future or...whenever. Sorry if that's rambly, but...yeah. That's what I was thinking as I read that. Is he remembering this conversation? Is this happening now?

Also, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I liked the reference to the Silence (Silence falls between them) and to Spoilers (I can't answer that yet).

- Oh the Doctor says, growing even paler than he usually is. Oh, this isn't good at all. - I just think you really nailed the Doctor with just this line. It reads exactly in the tone he would use.

I think I've read some of you Doctor Who fanfics before and while I can't for the life of me understand Doctor/Rory shippers – I just don't see any hidden romance between the two, I can't even see a bromance between the too (I think Rory's too devoted to Amy to even think of any one else) – I do think you write them well together (though not enough to convince me that there's actually something canon in the pairing XD).

In the end, though you do explain about the planet's air being an aphrodisiac, I still wondered about what fueled the violence. Was it the planet being burned up that caused what would have just been lust to turn into something closer to rage?

* Sorry if this seems disjointed but I'm commenting as I read, so there's no real order or grouping of my thoughts. :(