The Tent - Comments

Hey there I'm here from comment swap. I wanted to start off by saying it's not really the genre I like so take my comments with a grain of salt. In the first paragraph I think the word 'land' was a little overused. Nothing too bad though. I'm not sure how I feel about how they met and how they just jumped right into things. I actually started off thinking this was going to be a horror story considering the unlikeliness of some random person walking into your tent and what not. Also its only one chapter but it seems really, really long so I think the story would have benefited from maybe breaking it down into several chapters and taking your time with developing the story. Also the dark green background and black text made it a tad bit hard to read but other than that it was pretty good.

I LOVED this story. Even though it was a little sudden the way they met I still really loved it; I noticed a few words that didn't belong, your characters were nicely developed, your transitions were smooth and it was enjoyable how you didn't quite go into the full sex scene but you gave enough; please keep writing stuff like this!

:) Oh, wow. This was just . . . AMAZING!!! I jjust don't even have words. That was just one of the most emotional, discovering, love stories I have ever read and I am amazed by your extreme talent. I LOVED your characters and you plot, especially the first half. But the ending was so realistically happy and ahhh . . . just no words. I can't even express to you how enjoyable that was. Please keep writing. Especially if it's like this.

Aww, this was perfect. It left me with a good feeling afterwards, I love it. <3

Oh my God this is so lovely, perfectly amazing. I felt like I had watched a movie. When I read farm all I could think about was Brokeback Mountain. All the things I would give for that movie to have a happy ending.

Ahem, hey I'm back! :D

I quite like it too :)

Hello, thanks for entering!
OK, now I can get onto the actual story. My general impression overall: Fantastic! I thought it was written brilliantly and how you incorporated the scenario was really clever. I could totally relate to Nick when he got all paranoid without light; I get scared when I'm in the house alone and the next room doesn't have the light on! xD
When the zip started unzipping I was completely taken aback. I didn't see it coming - I thought maybe this was the twist but then Zack came in and was all 'oh hey, I thought this was empty.'
As if that wasn't enough of a twist, they went straight in with a kiss.
However, a more perfectly orchestrated kiss-and-sex scene I've rarely seen. Well done on that, it's no easy feat. Also, good for adding the '...hoping to soothe the ache in my lower back. I intentionally avoided thinking about the reason for it.' bit - most people forget to add the gory sides.
It was sad that Zack was happy when they woke up and then Nick completely panicked and ran but I was glad that Zack wasn't going to give up and they returned and made up etc.
Jackson seems a bit of a dick but I was pleased when no one tried to stop Nick and Zack and then when they got the farm and it was all happy endings!
The layout was really good too. I liked the green and the pretty simplicity of it.
In conclusion, an excellent piece of writing here! I really enjoyed reading it. Keep posted to find out the results. Good luck! :)