First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! You really do have a fantastic talent. I'm genuinely impressed. This had to be one of the best things I've read on this site and, believe me, I've read a lot. It just seems like a genuine story and I half expected to be able to buy it in the stores. There's a couple of spelling mistakes here and there but I do the same so no worries. :) I hope you update soon. I really do love this story. Congratulations.
Just found this story and I love it! I love reading vampire stories and this one is very unique compared to all the other vampire stories I have read. It was all very well written and the plot and characters are all well developed. I really like how Daniel and Tourie met because it is very interesting and different. I am surprised there are not a lot of comments which there should be. I can not wait to read more so I hope that you can update as soon as you can.
Where do I start, I loved your characters and the story plot. Although it wasn’t a mind blowing plot with intricate sub plots, it was amazing it was a small plot but you used it amazingly.
Something I like about Daniel was first off you didn’t name him Damian although I like the name it is starting to be overrate everyone uses it for his or her vampire stories.
Second of all I like that fact that you said he could hurt her. There was no ‘I love you so I will never hurt you.’ You never contradicted his beastly and lustful nature. I think this is the first story I have read that the character plainly tells the girl his eye are black because he is horny. Well . . . I have but granted not like that, and Daniel made it sound somewhat funny every time he said something around that nature. In addition, he was not the silent, brooding guy who made the girl follow him and made him open up to her. Daniel was a nice change for a vampire. I really liked that about him. You change the stereotypical vampire into a creative . . . well it just a je ne sais quoi :)
Oh and on chapter three, where he is sucking the bullet I was like what is he doing o_0. It was very random but really creative.
However, I don’t understand why you made Aaron act totally pissed when Daniel came along. Granted yes, Daniel might not be the first choice he wants his friend to be with; however, I think you should have eased Cassie and Aaron’s relationship a little bit more. Although his pairing with Cassie didn’t come as a surprise (so why am I complaining?) his actions made it seem he still liked Tourie or felt very scratch that, extremely jealous of Daniel.
I like the psycho killer . . . killers. You made Tourie have human problems not vampire associated problems. It was a change instead of being directly throwing to his world this is like a transition. I can’t wait to read the sequel! I read this in two days would have been a couple of hours if only I didn’t have to plan a party. :(
Anyways, (looks up) wow . . . I wrote a lot (understatement of the year) my bad. Well I’ll get to the point total love your story and there are probably many other things I liked about your story but then again I don’t think you want to read a long ass comment, right?
However, I like comments . . . Anyways, later and good luck writing the sequel.