July 2nd, 2012 at 01:26am
First thing I noticed was the layout of your chapters. There needs to be gaps in between your paragraphs, instead of having it all in one big block. That will definitely draw away readers, which is a shame considering the uniqueness of this story.
Second thing... the concept of this story is absolutely hilarious. "you will all be on the path to social acceptance soon." <<I couldn't stop laughing at that line, because it's so deliciously sardonic and humorous in the modern day world that it amazed me. The idea of sending 'normality challenged' people to a school where they're drugged and pushed until they're 'normal' (if that ever happens) is just so unique and imaginative that it blows me away.
Your characters are hilarious, which goes along with the humorous storyline. Overall, besides the spacing, I don't have much criticism. You must have an amazing sense of humour, haha! Fantastic story. ^_^
Well, I think the title is a tad long, and I'm not a fan for the layout. But I do like the concept, although its not my type of story I would read. .but it is good, good luck with it! :)