Get up Whenever You Fall - Comments

Came from the Comment Swap. I read till Chapter 4, I find the first chapter slightly confusing and a bit unnessasary in places. I'm not sure why you decided to have Nikolina reminiscing about her home before the news she would be moving and I think it would have worked better to go the two weeks later point instead of the conversation with the parents. Sidepoint- its unrealistic to finish High School without having had something set up for the next term or an attempt to have.
Chapter 3, is confusing in that you don't acknowledge that Croatia and Australia don't have the same seasons. It would be winter in Australia at this point. Nor do make clear why she only has three months of free time as of the story she has made no plans as to what she going to do after. There is also a lack of actual description and pictures linked (some that no longer work). If you want that detail, then you should write it in. Also how can she live in a place that walkable to a city with skyscaper but also has no houses between them and her home for large chunk? Also people know what nurses are. It redundant to have it clarify twice, nevermind once.

The actual story is okay, not really my thing. I hope my comment was usefully to you.

I lol'd when i realized all your characters have the same basic hair style :) I've actually never read a cowritten story before, so this was interesting. Both of your styles flow nicely, you've got something good going here. Oh and I totally agree with cutie1294 about the Kyler/Nico thing <3

So far, I like what you've got here. I like that the setting is so vastly different from most stories on here. The only things I can suggest is that you maybe add a bit more description. And add some more emotion behind the dialogue and some more description there too. But that's just a preferential thing to me and you don't really have to fix it - it's fine the way it is, if you'd prefer to leave it. Anyway, good job so far. I'll sub just so I can finish reading the rest of it when I have more time!

I just started this story after comment swap brought me here and I subscribed to it because 1. I don't have time to finish it right now and I would love to see where it's going and 2. I want to read anything that gets added. I always love stories where you can feel what the characters are feeling and I think you did an excellent job getting that through here. Keep up the great work and I can't wait to read more of it.

I really like this story its well written and I even subscribed to it because I love it and I want to read more. Honestly I think Kyler and Nico should end up together. They sound cute together and Kyler is so sweet to Nico. Keep it up and I hope more people like the story as well :)

yay finally an original story i'm interested in ! SUBSCRIBED

Not gunna lie, i love ya story!!! <3

Well. That comment felt a bit like a wet blanket didn't it? No offense emotional wind, that was some great criticism. But anyway, I absolutely love the plot so far, and I totally get the feeling of wanting to move somewhere new and exciting, and doing just that, but realizing you do feel at least just a bit sad for leaving behind your school friends and your room and your place. It is quite sad actually.

Your descriptions seem a little plain and thin. Here is what I do when getting the scenery ready for my characters entrance. I describe it from a distance, e.g. blankets of rain fall from the colourless sky. Then I describe it up-close, e.g. tiny teardrops leak of the sad leafless tress. Last but not least I describe it from my characters POV, e.g. the rain pats me on the head as if I did a good job or something. So if I am describing snowing mountains from a distance this is how I would do it.

Pale blue shark teeth bite the distant horizon. The crowd of mountains that gather together not far from my village are blocking the new morning sun as usual. But without the mountains there would be no stream passing through the village. From the village the mountains look calm and beautiful, something you’d only see once in your lifetime, but from where I stand I don’t have much life left. The mountain shrieks and blows at us with such incredible force as we make our way up the snowy slope. My heart is so cold and frighten it’s using my lungs for a blanket to hide in. My beard is sprinkled with snow flakes and frozen spit that uncontrollably dribbles from my lips. I wish I’d never thought of climbing to the top of the mountain, but turning back will mean death.

I hope this helps and you finish your book!