October 6th, 2011 at 06:51pm
I wasn't planning on reading this. I was actually just surfing the stories page and clicked this for no real reason. Liked the layout, kept reading. And then that last sentence...just hit me. I was interested the whole way through and figured it might end less than satisfyingly, but...wow. That was powerful. "It could not have possibly been only two minutes." Unfff. I just loved that. <3333
:) <3
I really like the background and the picture; I just would have added a border around the story area and picture…at least the picture. To me it feels a little too busy at the top. But I think it is still very pretty.
Story:
I like the pink chapter title background with the white text!
Maybe a little emphasis on the word ‘feel’ in the second sentence of the first paragraph.
My favorite line in this story is: ‘ Maybe it's hands are tired from moving all day and they wanted to take a nap.’ It is just a really cute and adorable line.
This leaves me wanting more on the story and has made me come up with several variations of who ‘he’ is and why he chose or wanted to leave. I think this is really well written overall. I also think that if you ever wanted to elaborate on it, readers would read it.