Little Unknown - Comments

Two pieces of constructive criticism for you would be, pro-long your chapters. I understand you're not trying to give to much away but I'm at chapter four and still know hardly anything about the characters, their lives, their settings. Also, I feel the chapters are slightly lacking a sense of surroundings. You seem to be more focused on describing the characters movements but you also need to be able to give the reader an image in their head of what's going on in the story.

I really love the layout. It is freakin' awesome. The first chapter was really short and didn't really give much insight on the character, more the surroundings than anything.

The second chapter I feel was much better with the color of everything. Color references are always the best so I can imagine what his hair color is, his skin color, and the color of the blinds, the carpet, just everything. It was great.

he making them even messier - he was making? The wording is off.
the ripped covers off - ripped the covers? Again I think the wording is off.

I think this could get better if the chapters got longer and there was more push to the start of the first chapter.

In the first paragraph, the sentences keep beginning with "the", try to change up the sentences' beginnings.

And again, there are a few tense changes XD

She knew today was going to be hard, she was nervous and but she had still gotten out of bed and tied a purple fleece robe around her small figure and opening the blinds, the smell of fresh air rushed through the tiny crack the window had not covered.

There are too many "and"s in this sentence. Also, there shouldn't be "but" and "and" between "nervous" and "she". And I also think it'd be best to break up this sentence too, if you think there is a good way to go about it.

That's it :3

I can't really comment about this very extensively, seeing as this is a short beginning; nonetheless, it's a very pretty beginning. You definitely have a nice, simple writing style. Your descriptions are lovely, as you describe this little town and the light and the houses. I'm curious to find out why this girl is nervous and why she feels the need to be known in this new town. What an interesting beginning so far! Oh, and I found only one mistake here: There was no sound, just tiny snores of Ellies little brother Tyson. You wrote Ellies, instead of Ellie's. That was basically the only error I could find. This is very cute so far and I wish you the best of luck with this (:

When I first saw this, I believe the layout had a couple in the banner. I like this one alot better. Everything runs together so well. Maybe you could find a picture to match the description given of the girl on weheartit.
The summary was nice. It was short, but in this case it was a good thing. It seemed like the kind of summary that is pulled from one of the chapters.
The chapter itself bothered me abit. The length matched that of the summary. I notice you say you will be re-doing it, so I hope it is longer next time. I do like the description very much, and I only noticed a few mistakes;
of Ellies - of Ellie's
awakes - awakens
This should be it's own sentence & it should be set up like this;
she felt new and refreshed, it was her first day in the town where you were suppose to be known.
She felt new and refreshed; it was her first day in the town where you were supposed to be known.
Other than that, this has potential. I will check back to see where it goes.

Xxoo.

The layout and summary is nice. I just think the pink link color seems out of place with the layout. Good luck with this, it's nice.

Ohhh this looks like it's going to be good. The first chapter is seriously way too short. >:|
I didn't like that there's no background for the story content though. It kind of makes it a little difficult to read. I'm picky. :3