This story has potential but it has a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. You should also take out the links to polyvore and other images. People know what knives and swings look like. Also, the layout makes it incredibly hard to read. Try editing it and it will be a million times better.
It's really well written and everything but i felt physically sick at the torture chapter :s it was just so realistic and usually i can handle horror and stuff but not this :L so yeah bassicly well written just not to my personal taste
Cute Chapter :) I think I know what may happen when Monica comes to Mikey's house.... She might find his torture room, with Derek's friend still in it..... (Update! :D) Dea, x