"A dark fog hang over the water's of London, as if some sort of monster was waiting in the dark, slowly but surly waiting to show it's self."
I love this sentence, I dunno why ^^ it got me xD story is greeeeaaaat xD
But you've go some pretty big mistakes, like "Todd was standing across the street from he's old barber shop.", "he's eye's fell on Mrs Lovett" he's should be his xD
"tried to stop her, she didn't lesson to me" lesson should be listen ^^
And btw, Sweeney's name was Benjamin Barker, not Parker ^^ xD
"he well have he's" --> "he will have his" xD
but apart from this mistakes its good ^^ I'm subscribing :D
as if some sort of monster was waiting in the dark,
slowly but surly waiting to show it's self."
I love this sentence, I dunno why ^^ it got me xD
story is greeeeaaaat xD
But you've go some pretty big mistakes, like
"Todd was standing across the street from he's old barber shop.", "he's eye's fell on Mrs Lovett"
he's should be his xD
"tried to stop her, she didn't lesson to me" lesson should be listen ^^
And btw, Sweeney's name was Benjamin Barker, not Parker ^^ xD
"he well have he's" --> "he will have his" xD
but apart from this mistakes its good ^^ I'm subscribing :D