I love it lizz! I know the guy has blue eyes but I kinda saw it as Ryan ya know?
October 19th, 2011 at 02:30am
Title:
I like the title, probably one of my favorites. I have no idea why, but it is. :)
Summary & Layout:
I would have added something about your story. I know it’s only 365 words, but I think something is better than nothing. Also, I would have made the story area the same width as the picture, or nice versa.
Chapter One:
You used parentheses in the wrong way in the first paragraph, and too much. Try to use ‘—‘ or commas instead.
Overall:
I loved it actually. It was short and simple but so complicated at the same time. The fact that she cheats on him and he’s an addict is so tragically perfect.