He Was Silence - Comments

  • demure.

    demure. (100)

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    Hong Kong
    I just want to say as I was reading this I didn't realize I was holding my breath. This was so beautiful.
    December 2nd, 2011 at 06:54pm
  • confused101

    confused101 (150)

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    Wow, that was incredibly beautiful.
    Well written, poetic, and such wonderful imagery.
    One thing I would point out would be that some of your sentences feel too full, like you were trying to say too much at once.
    c:
    October 24th, 2011 at 12:29am
  • the boy with bread.

    the boy with bread. (100)

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    New Zealand
    I really do love this! c:

    I like that you didn't really focus the content of the story on his appearance, but when you did, it showed us that he wasn't the typical handsome, but a different kind. And somehow, it made it all the more beautiful.

    I also enjoyed how you explained his demeanor. In most stories, everyone is always riled up in their views, but i liked how he was content in his own view, and didn;t need to change others to make himself happy.

    I really loved that anecdote- thingy when you were explaining how though he knows what things are truly like, he can still believe, and probably still love them.

    It was just really, really pretty <33 and i hope that you do well in the contest! c:
    October 23rd, 2011 at 03:59am