July 10th, 2013 at 05:19pm
I really like Deryk! I just love how he is with his teammates at the beginning and with the kids as Santa, and the way he talks about Rachel, awww! It was so sweet of him to buy stuffed animals and candy canes for those kids and really get into character. It was very sweet and cute. The only thing I didn't like was the sex... I felt like you really cut it up. All the other scenes you wrote were detailed and intriguing, but the smut was really short and you didn't seem to give it the attention it deserved. Otherwise, I did really like this and I'm proud of you!
For future reference, don't make your layout so dark. The black background and dark gray letters are terrible together. I had to read it in default.
Thanks! I switched up the text color on the layout and you're totally right. Thanks for the input! :)