I enjoyed the structure of this story a lot. It was very playful and the repetition was useful. The tone of the story is very omniscient and almost distant from the reader, which was effective and helped me as a reader to think of this story generally, as it would apply to the world.
"Sometimes, when I see the couples I know, how sad I am for them, no matter how happy they seem, reminds me that it could be just an idealized version of lust. Sometimes, when I see the girl who sleeps with her boyfriend at fifteen and believes they'll get married someday, to this superdouche that has no respect for her, it seems impossible for the real thing to exist. Sometimes, when I see how unhealthy two of my best friends are together, in a relationship that's ruining them both for everyone else they meet, because the only reason they stay together is because of the sex, that's when I start to doubt."
This section though seems to waver from the narrative voice. For most of the story, the narrator is very blunt and descriptive, but the word choice in this part seems a little shallow, because you used such detailed imagery before. (Like the part where the narrator says he/she wishes the words for physical things to be batted away? That's great writing)
"Sometimes, when I see the couples I know, how sad I am for them, no matter how happy they seem, reminds me that it could be just an idealized version of lust. Sometimes, when I see the girl who sleeps with her boyfriend at fifteen and believes they'll get married someday, to this superdouche that has no respect for her, it seems impossible for the real thing to exist. Sometimes, when I see how unhealthy two of my best friends are together, in a relationship that's ruining them both for everyone else they meet, because the only reason they stay together is because of the sex, that's when I start to doubt."
This section though seems to waver from the narrative voice. For most of the story, the narrator is very blunt and descriptive, but the word choice in this part seems a little shallow, because you used such detailed imagery before. (Like the part where the narrator says he/she wishes the words for physical things to be batted away? That's great writing)