Romance Is Dead - Comments

I love the characters and the summary! :D I'm going to subscribe and start reading! :D

I like the banner in the layout and how you added in those obnoxious bright colors without making them 'those obnoxious bright colors'. The title is sweet, but clearly not super original. But it works well. In the summary, whether it's lyrics or what there's a small typo. You've got my arms when the world gets to cold. Should be 'too cold'.

While the summary is nicely written it's not exactly attention getting. It doesn't grab and hold me and make me want to read more. There were no grammatical errors in the summary, but like I said it didn't pump my curiosity up at all.

I don't really have much to say about the prologue. I'm not really sure what to feel, and I agree with Electric Goat when it comes to detail. And while I agree on being vague, you weren't really. Just kind of told us, these girls were doing stuff for a show, and people liked this band and this guy saw this girl and thought she was pretty. But in reality, he wouldn't have been able to make out her face at all unless she was up front. Lighting makes it impossible to see anyone at shows, I know because I waste my life away at shows like that lol. So there's the aspect of being realistic, and the aspect of being more descriptive that you need to work on. Otherwise, nice job.

I love the layout and banner, I love how it's all dark with some brightly coloured spots err and there to show it's not dark. I see it's a She Said Poptarts creation? She's amazing at banners, it's unbelievable. I like the summary and I think it ties in well with the title. I get the feeling that the narrator thinks romance is dead hope Bradley is trying to show her it isn't because I get the impression he likes her just by th summary so I'm looking forward to see how that pans out :D

I like the name of the band and I like how they seem to be fun and fresh, tater than all whiny and emo and yada yada. You could totally feel Bradley's curiosity peak at whn he saw the girl but I'll suggest dragging her out because when you're curious about someone, you totally take in every detail of how they look and stuff and it just seemed a little short, y'know? But ooh at Bradley introducing himself to her, he seems like the type of guy who knows what he wants without being a dick about it, I'm interested in seeing how thei friendship/relationship pans out :3 you have a great thing going on so far, good job! :D

I decided to comment swap on this story because I didn't know which one to do. >.>

I really liked the layout and banner. The background was nice and clean and the banner was kind of a nice..contradiction to it, if you know what I mean. I liked it.

I read the prologue and the first chapter, and I have to say I liked the first chapter way better than the prologue The prologue just seemed kind of rushed and didn't really seem to give much information. And I could see why about the information thing, because you don't want to give the whole story away, but I don't know. I think I would have liked it if it was a bit longer, I think.

I really like the band name, too. Romance is Dead sounds really cool. I really like Delilah too, I can definitely relate to her with the whole wanting to live thing. Seems like it'll be interesting.

I'm also interested to see what happens with Bradley and Delilah.

But yes, this story seems like it has lots of potential so good job! :)

In chapter two,
"...Alyssa said to her, smiling."
I think there should be a 'me' instead of 'her', since you're writing in the first person...

I like your characters, they seem pretty down to earth. I like how the main character is trying to crawl out of her shell and start living it up a little.
The overall story is interesting and it catches your attention.
However, there was a thing that bothered me.
It seems like every other story I've encountered has the 'mean girls' reference or bitches in one way or another, and I think you could have done without it. It's too typical and it would make the whole thing more original if you just left it out.

Other than that, good job. :)

"I smiled; it was a text from Peaches. I hadn’t talked to her since she had moved to London to work at the Drop Dead store."

OH MY GOD, BRI, I LOVE YOU. <3

I love the look of the layout; it's dark-colored but not dark in feeling, and I enjoyed the banner, as well. It lends to the story without distracting or taking anything away from it.

The prologue was good. I would like to see more detail about the set, but it's just a prologue so you get to be as vague and leave out as much as you want, in my opinion! I like where this is headed and it seems like you've set yourself up for a good story.

layout: The layout is very pretty, not bland at all and sparkles in all the right places. I think it's fits the story very well, with the the snapshots and time frames. Good choice.

prologue: The prologue was a little rushed for me. I understood the concept of it and it flowed OK, but I think there were places where an extra few sentences would have really drawn me in.

chapter one: I like the band name, they don't sound over done and sound as if they're going to go places. It's not often I come across a story with a fictional band and thankfully, for my sanity, this isn't another bandfic. I like how your band is original too, you've written them well and haven't made them melodramatic, whiny, musicians. The main character seems to be down to earth too, I'm for her idea of getting out into the world and site seeing and gaining experiences. My flaw with this chapter is the sentence flow flow and structure; I think you could revise some of the sentences, try wording them differently so they flow well. Spice your vocabulary up.

chapter two: This chapter was defo better grammar and vocab wise, you really played with sentences here and I was really drawn into the two girls. They seem to get on very well, though I worry about the influence the band will have on them >.< Are they going to turn groupie, is this how much of the world she wants to see? I don't know. For some reason, she sounds delicate and naive to me. Gah, I hope she doesn't do something stupid.

I love this, I love the concept and the way you made up the band. I love the flow with how each sentence goes with eachother, I love how you lay out the characters to us, I did get confused as to the girl was in the summarry to the girl in the prolouge but I got it sorted out. I love the layout, It is very nice and plays well with the story line. good job. (:

je t'aime <3

Your usual loveliness as always shines through with this chapter. =D Can't wait for the next!

First off, the layout is awesome. The picture kinda gives me some incite to what the characters are gonna be like and what the story is mostly about. I love how you write. I'm a subscriber to some of your other stories and I've gotta say, I really like this one.

I didn't spot any grammar errors. But, I wasn't really expecting any since it's "Their-They're Quiz Girl". :p Anyway, this was really cute. It's a little different and I like that. I love how you summarized the story. You always do a great job on that. I'm gonna subscribe to this because I like where it's going. :"D

I sound awesome! XD :D Really I do and it's all because of you! Who's Sanders? I wanna red about this Sanders kid I dated. XD

The layout is really pretty. =D And the story is just as amazing. Can't wait for more!

I must say, I'm already subscribed to this, because I creeped on pretty much everyone who posted their NaNoWriMo in the journal section. Subbed to about everyone's too. x) Oh, I love the layout. It gives a very nice feel to the story. I liked the old banner, but this one was done very well. She Said Poptarts did very wonderful with the text. And the summary is very nicely done too. Excerpts are usually a very nice alternative to actually "summarizing" the story, and you did very well in this. <3

I hope you know I love how this isn't a bandfic. Those are okay, but I find this story to be more charming in the fact that it is less likely to feel like a self-insert. And I certainly adore this. A few mistakes, but nothing major. I love your writing style. It's beautiful and intriguing. As is the story. He's interested (*wiggles eyebrows suggestively). LOL, I kid. But I'm really excited for this. Hopefully an update will be posted soon? :D

The layout is awesome, and I especially love the banner.
The summary seems really interesting, too.
Even thoguh I haven't rad the first one, this sounds really cool.
Good job :D

The layout is great. Really love the banner and the feel to it.

The summary is something we all can relate to--wellI can relate to.
I love the fact that you made up a band--and possibly maybe even songs--in here.

I wish you will for the NaNo thing!

:}

I just want to say that I hardly find stories that have made-up bands in them, so I smiled when I read the summery. But anyway, the summery was very eye-catching to me, and I can only think that the story is going to be as good as the summery itself. You should tell me when you begin this because I'd love to read it!

I really like the layout. The banner is love. <3 It just sets off the story wonderfully. The summary is interesting and pulls the reader in, making them want to read more. Can't wait to start reading. ^^

I really like your layout and the banner, but I'm not exactly crazy about the summary.

It feels as if it should be written in first-person rather than third, because it has the kind of voice I'd expect (looking at the character page) one of the characters to have.

I'ma subscribe and everything and this could be really good with a little bit of cleaning up :D You've got a great idea and I'd love to see where you go with this.