November 16th, 2013 at 11:19pm
There are some few mistakes in the first chapter though.
Kirkwall is not a city known for it's hospitality.
It should be its rather than it's. It's stands for 'it is.' Its is meant to show possession - object-wise.
Rather, a typical Lowtown greeting would be a punch to the face and being mugged.
I think getting would be better than being. Get is more of a verb than being.
For the first chapter, you should review your sentences and check for punctuation errors. I recommend asking help from the betas although your grammar is great already. It just needs some more tweaks here and there and it'll be perfect!
I would read more if it wasn't 2 in the morning right now but I'm totally bookmarking this and putting this in my To-Read list!
Thank you so much! It's been a while since I've had time to sit down and revise, but I'll go through it :) I know I have quite a few typos that I need to get around to fixing, as I don't have a beta for any of them.