Trashed and Scattered - Comments

Awh, thanks xD
I'm really glad you liked it (:
XOXO-

I loved it. :) I'm going to miss reading this story, but I'm going to be sure to read your others. :)

Awh thanks, I'm glad xD
And yea, I thought about it but I actually forgot to do it... I'm actually gonna start writing it now!
Thanks for the comment (:XOXO

I think you should make an epiloge for this story and have it when Brian meets Zacky again in the afterlife. You don't have to, just thought I would make a suggestion. :) but all and all I truly loved this story.

just as a hint, you keep saying every chapter is shit, or this story as a whole, is, it puts your readers off and they just stop reading all together
i'm liking this, though, so i'll keep reading and even subscribe

Your descriptions seem a little plain and thin. Here is what I do when getting the scenery ready for my characters entrance. I describe it from a distance, e.g. blankets of rain fall from the colourless sky. Then I describe it up-close, e.g. tiny teardrops leak of the sad leafless tress. Last but not least I describe it from my characters POV, e.g. the rain pats me on the head as if I did a good job or something. So if I am describing snowing mountains from a distance this is how I would do it.

Pale blue shark teeth bite the distant horizon. The crowd of mountains that gather together not far from my village are blocking the new morning sun as usual. But without the mountains there would be no stream passing through the village. From the village the mountains look calm and beautiful, something you’d only see once in your lifetime, but from where I stand I don’t have much life left. The mountain shrieks and blows at us with such incredible force as we make our way up the snowy slope. My heart is so cold and frighten it’s using my lungs for a blanket to hide in. My beard is sprinkled with snow flakes and frozen spit that uncontrollably dribbles from my lips. I wish I’d never thought of climbing to the top of the mountain, but turning back will mean death.

I hope this helps and you finish your book!