The summary is really simple and gripping, which for this type of story works really well. I've instantly got questions in my mind even just by clicking into the page. If I were to jump into this story from the main story page I'd definitely give it a read. The layout is simple, but works with the summary to create a really alluring story!
Cleithrophobia
What I like most about this chapter is the way that everything seems quite disjointed and dazed. It adds to the whole scene of the narrator waking up in this unfamiliar place, almost like we're getting a glimpse into their mind. It also makes it more genuine in terms of emotions because we're getting this glimpse into their mind right from the get-go and discovering her entrapment as she does. For me, that works beautifully in terms of pulling the reader further into the tale as it leaves me on the edge of my seat, wondering what'll happen next. The last line just cinched that as well for me -- it's sudden and shocking at the same time, and leaves the reader wondering exactly what'll happen next.
Born Under an Unlucky Star
I actually find it heartbreaking for Sam that one of the first thoughts in this chapter is that of wondering whether anyone will miss her. It's horrible to think that someone could go missing and that it wouldn't be discovered until a few days after the fact. I vaguely remember watching a programme where it said that for most abductions, the first twenty-four hours are vital in the investigation so to think that those twenty-four hours could be lost because Sam doesn't get along with her father, or that she won't see her friends for a few days is a horrible thought. I also like how realistic the thought of someone noticing is -- essentially, unless there's been a witness to her being taken, her only hope is someone finding out she's gone missing. That part, coupled with the remainder of the chapter and the fact that she mentions her family just gives her this three-dimensional aspect and in a way, likens her as a character to the reader. You can imagine the relationship she has with her father, and the thinking about her mother. In terms of character building, this chapter does a flawless job.
Concrit
Honestly, I don't think I saw anything worth mentioning. Your grammar and spelling is pretty much spot-on at all times and even though I'd usually complain, the fact that you constantly use short, snappy sentences and one-sentence paragraphs fits perfectly with the overall atmosphere that the subject matter itself deals with.
Overall
You've got an awesome start to a story here! What I like about this the most is that you haven't introduced the kidnapper yet at all. It just gives this wonderful hook into the story and adds to the overall mysterious feel that you've got going. Description and writing style are beautiful and as I said above, everything in terms of grammar and spelling is absolutely spot-on. I'm going to subscribe to this and keep up with it and honestly, I'm amazed this doesn't have more comments because you've got a really good thing going on here. Awesome job!
I missed you, and your writing as well! The plot line is right up my alley, so that, paired with the fantastic writing, makes me very excited for this story :)
The summary is really simple and gripping, which for this type of story works really well. I've instantly got questions in my mind even just by clicking into the page. If I were to jump into this story from the main story page I'd definitely give it a read. The layout is simple, but works with the summary to create a really alluring story!
Cleithrophobia
What I like most about this chapter is the way that everything seems quite disjointed and dazed. It adds to the whole scene of the narrator waking up in this unfamiliar place, almost like we're getting a glimpse into their mind. It also makes it more genuine in terms of emotions because we're getting this glimpse into their mind right from the get-go and discovering her entrapment as she does. For me, that works beautifully in terms of pulling the reader further into the tale as it leaves me on the edge of my seat, wondering what'll happen next. The last line just cinched that as well for me -- it's sudden and shocking at the same time, and leaves the reader wondering exactly what'll happen next.
Born Under an Unlucky Star
I actually find it heartbreaking for Sam that one of the first thoughts in this chapter is that of wondering whether anyone will miss her. It's horrible to think that someone could go missing and that it wouldn't be discovered until a few days after the fact. I vaguely remember watching a programme where it said that for most abductions, the first twenty-four hours are vital in the investigation so to think that those twenty-four hours could be lost because Sam doesn't get along with her father, or that she won't see her friends for a few days is a horrible thought. I also like how realistic the thought of someone noticing is -- essentially, unless there's been a witness to her being taken, her only hope is someone finding out she's gone missing. That part, coupled with the remainder of the chapter and the fact that she mentions her family just gives her this three-dimensional aspect and in a way, likens her as a character to the reader. You can imagine the relationship she has with her father, and the thinking about her mother. In terms of character building, this chapter does a flawless job.
Concrit
Honestly, I don't think I saw anything worth mentioning. Your grammar and spelling is pretty much spot-on at all times and even though I'd usually complain, the fact that you constantly use short, snappy sentences and one-sentence paragraphs fits perfectly with the overall atmosphere that the subject matter itself deals with.
Overall
You've got an awesome start to a story here! What I like about this the most is that you haven't introduced the kidnapper yet at all. It just gives this wonderful hook into the story and adds to the overall mysterious feel that you've got going. Description and writing style are beautiful and as I said above, everything in terms of grammar and spelling is absolutely spot-on. I'm going to subscribe to this and keep up with it and honestly, I'm amazed this doesn't have more comments because you've got a really good thing going on here. Awesome job!