A Wonderful Surprise - Comments

Aaaa Vanemo, I am so glad I can read this story again. I can't wait to read the next chapter, and what will happen to Garrett and Mary.

Anyway... John is being such a cutie, hahah, he's basically craving for cupcakes.
Good chapter, Van! Keep up the good work :)

I CANNOT WAIT FOR MOVIE NIGHT!!

@AmeliaDef you're welcome, I love you too :p

I thought Garrett did sleep with a girl... I WAS ABOUT TO GO ALLL DO XUSISKOSIA and boom. He was dreaming

comment swap-- using single quotes for dialogue is a bit awkward. convention is to use two. aside from that your grammar is solid. the whole chapter i read seems a little stiff, with a lot of dialogue and not too much emotion. that would be my main concern going forward as far as things to fix. aside from that, it was a solid story and your characters are believable. best of luck!

AmeliaDef:

on my defense, i didnt give vany the idea to bring up the name rachael... but really though, i dont like her either..

but well, this story wouldn't be so dramatic if Rachael didn't show up, right right? :p

arumdp:

GARRETT NICKELSEN (or should I write Lia's name instead, remembering that she gave you this plot :p) WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH RACHAEL?!?! Poor Mary :( What'll happen after this? Can't wait to read it! :D

on my defense, i didnt give vany the idea to bring up the name rachael... but really though, i dont like her either..

arumdp:

GARRETT NICKELSEN (or should I write Lia's name instead, remembering that she gave you this plot :p) WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH RACHAEL?!?! Poor Mary :( What'll happen after this? Can't wait to read it! :D

how to tell lia that you're upset...? :P Yeah, poor mary :( You need to wait for the next chapter, kay? ;)

GARRETT NICKELSEN (or should I write Lia's name instead, remembering that she gave you this plot :p) WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH RACHAEL?!?! Poor Mary :( What'll happen after this? Can't wait to read it! :D

Aye aye! Good to know Garrett's going to stop playing dumb! Mary better stop too or Garrett will get his heart broken.. :p

I got here because of comment Swap and unfortunately this really isn't my cup of tea, but I have read the first chapter and I really like your way of writing. You're definitely a good writer, I'm sorry that I didn't feel like reading a lot more of it, but it really isn't bad at all!

both Mary and Garrett has problems of spilling the truth... when will they stop playing dumb? :o

Garrett's last action is so... priceless. He is such a unique person This is a great chapter vanemo! I like the way you ended it. Teehee. Sad no more, because this isn't a crappy update. It's great!!

This is a very creative story, and I enjoy the plot that you've set up. It's a very great read. It kept me well entertained and intrigued all throughout reading. Keep up the great work, and hope to see an update soon!

GARRETT!! Finally he spilled the beans, gaaah I can't wait to see how Mary would react on the next chapter :)) Great chapter, vanemo!

Aaaaah, finally. Mary realized something, Mary realized something~ Does it mean that this story will be ended in a matter of time? :( aaah.

In my opinion, Mary deserves a better man. So I'd rather pick Garett-Mary ftw! :D I'm your new subscriber also fan btw. And according to AmeliaDef, it's less of 'who'. Btw hi vany!

Garrett-Mary! Garrett-Mary! Mary deserves better. Besides, Garrett has been there for her from the start, he has been stuck in the friendzone for years, it's about time.

Okay, hi.
Um... I really like the plot and I hope Lisa will show up in Arizona and boom goes the drama. I ship Garrett/Mary, okay? Nick should go back to Braintree and just... I don't know... You can't start a relationship with someone when you're with someone else, Nicholas, seriously!
I like this story a lot. However, I can't help but notice some grammar and spelling mistakes here and there so I thought I'd point it out to you.
Keep going! Please let Mary end up with Garrett please...

....PLAN D! Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! it's great, Vanyyy. Keep it up :D Can't wait to read more, though.